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  1. #1
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    Friday Afternoon Funnies

    What you got?

    Here is mine:

    A drunk gets up from the bar and heads to the restroom. He is in there a few minutes when everyone in the bar hears a loud, blood curdling scream from the bathroom. Everything is quiet for about 5 minutes and then again the whole bar hear a blood curdling scream, I mean one that would wake the dead.

    The bar tender goes over to outside the door and asks "is everything OK in there, you are scaring my customers".

    The drunk says "I am just sitting here on the toilet and everytime I try to flush something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my testicles".

    Curious, the barteder opens the door and peeks around the corner and says "you dummy you are sitting on the mop bucket"!



  2. #2
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    cycopath25's Avatar
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    Re: Friday Afternoon Funnies

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSQvc6VWrPY&feature=related]YouTube - Why Bob Marley Should Not Have Acted As His Own Attorney[/ame]



  3. #3
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    Re: Friday Afternoon Funnies



    Lifetime Achievement- In on page 1 of a THujone MS Paint thread.


  4. #4
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    Re: Friday Afternoon Funnies

    Quote Originally Posted by cyeah View Post
    What you got?



    Chris Kaman gets up from the bar and heads to the restroom. He is in there a few minutes when everyone in the bar hears a loud, blood curdling scream from the bathroom. Everything is quiet for about 5 minutes and then again the whole bar hear a blood curdling scream, I mean one that would wake the dead.

    The bar tender goes over to outside the door and asks "is everything OK in there, you are scaring my customers".

    Chris Kaman says "I am just sitting here on the toilet and everytime I try to flush something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my testicles".

    Curious, the barteder opens the door and peeks around the corner and sees Reggie Evans swimming around in the toilet!
    Fixed it for you.


    Kinnick smells like syrup.

  5. #5
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    Re: Friday Afternoon Funnies

    Not new, but too funny....

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmsuYeztVbs"]YouTube - Homer in the witness protection program[/ame]



  6. #6
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    Re: Friday Afternoon Funnies

    Hawkeye Nation

    Steers and ****** over on that board



  7. #7
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    Re: Friday Afternoon Funnies

    Overheard this at work today. An American pilot was flying over International waters near Iran when an Iranian tower radios to the pilot "you are in Iranian airspace - you must leave immediately.". The pilot responds "the hell I am - I am over International waters." Iranian tower responds "leave Iranian airspace now or we'll send up our fighters." Pilot responds "you go ahead and send your fighters - I'll be waiting for them right here."

    Gotta love the American military...



  8. #8
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    Re: Friday Afternoon Funnies

    Quote Originally Posted by jdoggivjc View Post
    Overheard this at work today. An American pilot was flying over International waters near Iran when an Iranian tower radios to the pilot "you are in Iranian airspace - you must leave immediately.". The pilot responds "the hell I am - I am over International waters." Iranian tower responds "leave Iranian airspace now or we'll send up our fighters." Pilot responds "you go ahead and send your fighters - I'll be waiting for them right here."

    Gotta love the American military...
    Iran has an air force?


    Don't confuse hope for a plan.

  9. #9
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    Re: Friday Afternoon Funnies

    There was a conference in France where a
    number of international engineers were taking part, including French and
    American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into
    the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He
    has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims.
    What does he intended to do, bomb them?'

    A Boeing engineer stood up and replied
    quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat
    several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply
    emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three
    cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day,
    they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water
    each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in
    transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have
    eleven such ships; how many does France have?'



  10. #10
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    Re: Friday Afternoon Funnies

    A Chinese couple is in bed late one night and the husband nudges his wife until she wakes up..."69? 69?" he curiously asks.
    The wife groans and closes her eyes to fall back asleep.
    15 minutes later the husband again nudges his wife until she is awake..."69? 69?"
    She groans again and falls back asleep.
    Another 15 minutes go by and the husband again nudges his wife this time even more excitedly..."69! 69!"'
    His now very annoyed wife sits straight up in bed and asks..."Why you want beef and broccoli now?!"



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