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  1. #1
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    How do you react?

    First off i am 18 years of age and a male. Yesterday was a very difficult day for me. My girlfriend(which is 19, and we have been together for 6 months and live together) and I came home after i got out of school. She said she had to tell me something and that ended up being that she cheated on me with her best "guy" friend that she has known since she was like 3 years old. She said it was only a kiss. I know who the guy is and would have never thought he'd do something like that. Maybe it was an act of jealousy? We talked most of the night last night and we really want to make it work out. Shes going to go stay at her moms house for a while and i'm still in a world of hurt. She also feels really bad for what she did..but how do you react to something like this? I love this girl with all my heart..but i'm just not sure how to feel right now.


    "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."

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    Re: How do you react?

    You can either forgive her or not forgive her. Those are really the two bottom-line choices.


    Since we are an elite team now, let's go get that One Cyclone Moment.
    Make this one for the ages!




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  3. #3
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    Re: How do you react?

    Dude, you're 18. She obviously doesn't have as strong feelings about you that you do of her. Otherwise, she wouldn't have strayed. If you "forgive" her she will do it again. promise


    Hit it hard, every yard

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    Re: How do you react?

    She cheated with a kiss?

    There is something else going on here (not saying sexual) but she is wondering if you are the guy she wants or not.


    Living together outside of marriage I have a hard time with so maybe I am not the best person to ask, but living together after 6 months seems to me like a way to fast move.

    At 18 and 19 you both still have a lot of growing to do, I really question if you even know what Love really, truly is at that point in your life.

    My suggestion, live apart, quit fornecating and spend the next 12 months courting and see if without the sexyou both still feel the same way.



  5. #5
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    Re: How do you react?

    Quote Originally Posted by CycloneErik View Post
    You can either forgive her or not forgive her. Those are really the two bottom-line choices.
    And i have forgivin her. If it was anything other then a kiss, then i probably wouldnt forgive. Do you think this would make trust stronger in a way?


    "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."

  6. #6
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    Re: How do you react?

    Quote Originally Posted by cyeah View Post
    She cheated with a kiss?

    There is something else going on here (not saying sexual) but she is wondering if you are the guy she wants or not.


    Living together outside of marriage I have a hard time with so maybe I am not the best person to ask, but living together after 6 months seems to me like a way to fast move.

    At 18 and 19 you both still have a lot of growing to do, I really question if you even know what Love really, truly is at that point in your life.

    My suggestion, live apart, quit fornecating and spend the next 12 months courting and see if without the sexyou both still feel the same way.
    This is what we talked about


    "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."

  7. #7
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    Re: How do you react?

    Honestly, if you are serious about this girl then she just did you a favor. It'll suck but its better in the long run, and you won't have wasted your time on an unfaithful person. On the other hand you're only 18, you've only been together 6 months, and this was only a kiss so maybe its not that big of a deal. The biggest issue is who it happened with, she's going to obviously want to continue being friends with this guy she's known so long, are you sure you can deal with that?



  8. #8
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    Re: How do you react?

    I agree with everyone. I met a girl at NIACC and we were together forever, she cheated on me and it tore me up, but at that age you must realize there are other women out there and if things are meant to be, they will be. I am now married and extremely happy.



  9. #9
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    Re: How do you react?

    Quote Originally Posted by cyeah View Post
    She cheated with a kiss?

    There is something else going on here (not saying sexual) but she is wondering if you are the guy she wants or not.


    Living together outside of marriage I have a hard time with so maybe I am not the best person to ask, but living together after 6 months seems to me like a way to fast move.

    At 18 and 19 you both still have a lot of growing to do, I really question if you even know what Love really, truly is at that point in your life.

    My suggestion, live apart, quit fornecating and spend the next 12 months courting and see if without the sexyou both still feel the same way.

    Can you hear me all the way back there in the 50's brah?



  10. #10
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    Re: How do you react?

    Dude. You are 18. You have been together for 6 months. Get rid of her and enjoy your bachelor bliss. Seriously, if you let this thing linger you will regret wasting time with this chick.



  11. #11
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    Re: How do you react?

    Don't hitch your wagon to the first horse that comes along.


    “There have been a lotta tough guys. There have been pretenders. And there have been contenders. But there is only one king.”

  12. #12
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    Re: How do you react?

    Your 18, play the field and live with a bunch of your buddies and party all the time. Move in with a girl when your older.



  13. #13
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    Re: How do you react?

    Well as Eric said it’s pretty cut and dried, though forgiving doesn’t necessarily mean you move on without consequences. There is truly too much here to randomly address on a message board, but most of these guys have made valid points. Guys like me, and Eric and probably the 1950’s dude (joke) attack these kinds of things from a Faith standpoint.

    When I was 18, I chased every girl in 4 states and have the vivid thoughts and scars that come from that kind of life style. I really wish I could go back and undo much of that even though it was an instrument towards my salvation. The point being when I say what I say it isn’t just coming from a viewpoint of religiosity, as I too lived with a couple different women before marriage. It is NOT the best way however.

    Furthermore you are 18 and it is entirely possible your thoughts are really much different than love and sex most assuredly blurs the line, no matter how much these others will disagree.

    Finally although I believe in forgiveness for all, it is entirely possible this is just the beginning and for whatever reason, and at that age, girls or boys have a tendency to lose respect for those they “cheat” on. I’m sure there are instances where it was just an isolated thing and it has also been the beginning of a long arduous spiral.

    Finally as another said I don’t see her stopping a life long friendship and that will frustrate you if nothing else.

    Chad


    Last edited by cmhawks99; 04-17-2010 at 10:21 AM.

  14. #14
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    Re: How do you react?

    I think the big question is if you are a high school senior or a college freshman. If you are a high school senior...graduation is coming up, meaning your freshman year of college is coming up, meaning get rid of her. If you are a college freshman...well get rid of her anyway.



  15. #15
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    Re: How do you react?

    Just based on your OP, you are not mature enough for a serious relationship. Sorry if that seems harsh, but I'm older, will probably die sooner, and have been there....


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