Think we oughtta come up with some good ones. I think there is a lot to work with here. One that I have heard some guys on the team use for Mattison: "Pretty Boy" Flloyd Mattison. Lets hear what you got.
Hows about Jarvis "Wild Wild" West, or Jon Caspers "The Fiendly Ghost", or Anthony Young "Guns". or Durrell Givens "Take"?
Did somebody say steak?
You can spend a lot of time and money picking out the perfect floral bouquet for your date ... but you're probably better off checking if you have bad breath and taking the porn out of the glove compartment.
The moral: you gain more by not being stupid, than you do by being smart. Smart gets neutralized by other smart people. Stupid does not.
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