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  1. #1
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    Frick on a stick, I got jury duty!

    Well my number was called today, so I have to go to Polk county court on monday and sit around for a week doing nothing. I frickin hate jury duty, I had to do it 3 years ago, and it is like a week long root canal. Too bad they don't have wireless internet. I need to find a way out of this quick!


    They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin 1775

  2. #2
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    Re: Frick on a stick, I got jury duty!

    Just tell them you hate all Hawkeye fans. And you are a Scientoilogist. And you own six guns. That should be enough to get you off.


    Last edited by Wesley; 03-02-2007 at 09:33 PM.
    CFH HMagic bball season next year.
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    Re: Frick on a stick, I got jury duty!

    You could either do what Wesley suggested, or you could show up with a hoodie sweatshirt tucked into your pants. Either way, they'll take one look at you and say, "this guy's a nut-job"


    "Seven minutes to glory."

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    Re: Frick on a stick, I got jury duty!

    Show up with an OJ Simpson jersey on.



  5. #5
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    Re: Frick on a stick, I got jury duty!

    And take that blowup doll for companionship.


    CFH HMagic bball season next year.
    Let my Fred's Four Horsemen ride: Georges, Hogue, Nader, and McKay.

  6. #6
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    Re: Frick on a stick, I got jury duty!

    Quote Originally Posted by Wesley View Post
    Just tell them you hate all Hawkeye fans. And you are a Scientoilogist. And you own six guns. That should be enough to get you off.
    I used the scientologist line once to scare of some mormons that wanted to read me bible versus. The look on their face when I told them I was a scientologist was great.

    Praise Xenu!


    They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin 1775

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    Re: Frick on a stick, I got jury duty!

    I always tell those people that I am a pastafarian. All hail the flying spagetti monster.



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    Re: Frick on a stick, I got jury duty!

    I had jury duty before the break, but I called in the night of, and discovered that they no longer needed me for that date, but would send me a reminder for another trial date in Janurary.

    It's now March. Still, nothing.


    Go Sssssssssyclones!

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    Re: Frick on a stick, I got jury duty!

    My experience with civilian jury duty is identical to AirWalke. I DID have to sit on a courtmartial when I was in the military. It was memorable, because we were court-martialling an older NCO who was accused of having sex with two 20 year old female soldiers who worked for him.

    Problem is, one of the girls taped the whole thing, and the video was shown again and again during the proceedings. It seems to me that the President of the courtmartial board spent an awful lot of time establishing a) the identities of the soldiers involved, b) exactly what acts were committed and when they technically occurred, and c) whether those acts were committed willingly, by all participants.

    Not a bad week, if I say so myself.



  10. #10
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    Re: Frick on a stick, I got jury duty!

    I have done jury duty once, it was horrible. The first day we sat there for 9 hrs in the hallway doing nothing.

    The second day we sat there for 9 hrs doing nothing, we did get to see a 30 min video on how to be a juror. That was pretty exciting. The third day they hussled 300 of us into 1 room to find the 12 jurors because the case was a prominent DSM catholic priest. Needless to say since I am quiet opinionated, I did not get picked, the next 2 days we just sat there for 9 hrs, and did nothing. Then friday they let us go.

    I was really helped me get a feeling our government is a well oiled machine, that was all citizens best interests at heart.


    They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin 1775

  11. #11
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    Re: Frick on a stick, I got jury duty!

    When I got my notice for jury duty I was looking forward to it. I thought great I finally get to take a vacation from work. When I got there I found out that it was for the stupid microsoft trial that was supposed to last 6 months. For me two weeks is ok 6 months noway. My initial jury number was 453 but after the 35 page questionare my stock improved to #42. The judge was cool about granting financial hardships (my job does not pay during jury duty) and excused me.



  12. #12
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    Re: Frick on a stick, I got jury duty!

    Just say during the interview that you can tell right at this moment that the defendant is guilty and you want him to fry, both here and in hell.

    That'll prolly get you off


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  13. #13
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    Re: Frick on a stick, I got jury duty!

    I was on duty in Story County a couple weeks ago. This old dude kept going "huh?"...."huh?" "what?" "I got a hearing problem"....
    He was excused.....



  14. #14
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    Re: Frick on a stick, I got jury duty!

    FUNNY STORY: I do litigation consulting in Denver. The last trial I worked was in a small town in the mountains. The trial itself was worth a few million dollars and the community was very interested in the outcome, so the jury pool that showed up numbered in the 100's. We started listening to why people couldn't or shouldn't sit on the jury and here are the golden ones:

    1) Woman stated that she was on fertility treatments and was supposed to get "the" treatment that first week. She was excused.

    2) Man came up and said "That's my wife you dismissed, and I would like to be there for when she gets pregnant". He was excused.

    3) Woman hobbles up to the front of the jury pool and states that she has a circulation problem with her leg and is only in pain if she can keep her leg above her heart. She was there all day laying on the floor with her leg on a chair. She was excused.

    4) Woman states that she needs to take her disabled son to physical and speech therapy. She explained that he was shot in the head and needs constant assistance. The judge asked her if there was family to do that for her, and she said yes but her mother is responsbile for taking her other son to the psychiatrist. In her words, "That son is the one who shot his brother in the head" She was promptly excused.

    I can't make this stuff up. It is just too funny to pulled out of the air.



  15. #15
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    Re: Frick on a stick, I got jury duty!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cybone View Post
    FUNNY STORY: I do litigation consulting in Denver. The last trial I worked was in a small town in the mountains. The trial itself was worth a few million dollars and the community was very interested in the outcome, so the jury pool that showed up numbered in the 100's. We started listening to why people couldn't or shouldn't sit on the jury and here are the golden ones:

    1) Woman stated that she was on fertility treatments and was supposed to get "the" treatment that first week. She was excused.
    Been through the fertility treatment one, you have to take tons of meds at very exact times, it would be really hard to be on jury duty if you were doing this.


    They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin 1775

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