Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help
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    Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help

    I get my Step-daughter a car. I stated that she needs to do preventive maintance on it..oil gas, brake fluid, small item checks. SHe goes and asks me to look at the car cause it was making funy noises. I go...look at it and I find out that the oil has no registration of oil on the stick. I tell her ...."Go get some oil at least two quarts." She states "well I have to go to Indianola and then when I get back I will." Naturaly I said "No, do it before you go." She naturaly did not want to do that. Next I told her tighten the battery cable down so that its on there tight...She did not want to at this moment. Well she left....I got a call and she said he car wont start...I asked her where she was she stated between Indianola and Des Moines. I said ok... I will go and assist her...figured it was a dead battery. She said no she wanted her mom to get her... Knowing I would say "I told you so" I found out that she was Marshaltown...between here and Indianola. Her mom wanted to get her and I asked her if I can go...she stated no...then told me she was in Marshaltown. Well teh car got towed back.... NO OIL in the car.... Now I have a 1999 Intrigue with a blown motor. Well now she has college in Indianola...what do I do...buy her another car to ruin...or tell her go to the dorms, ask her dad to buy her the next car...

    Need parenting help



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    Re: Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help

    She needs to buy her next car, or she won't show any more respect for it than she did with the last one.


    I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.

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    Re: Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help

    I dont want to sound rude but your first mistake was buying her the car. IMO the best way for a teenager to take care of something is to make them buy it on their own, or part of it. Did you really expect a teenage girl to take care of the car? Hell my doesnt even do any maintace or check anything on her car. But what do I know I have a few years before I have to worry about that.


    The gap in our economy is between what we have and what we think we ought to have--and that is a moral problem, not an economic one. - Paul Heyne

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    Re: Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help

    Quote Originally Posted by chadm View Post
    She needs to buy her next car, or she won't show any more respect for it than she did with the last one.
    And with the College now???? How does she get there



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    Re: Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help

    Quote Originally Posted by kingcy View Post
    I dont want to sound rude but your first mistake was buying her the car. IMO the best way for a teenager to take care of something is to make them buy it on their own, or part of it. Did you really expect a teenage girl to take care of the car? Hell my doesnt even do any maintace or check anything on her car. But what do I know I have a few years before I have to worry about that.
    I know it was a mistake.... Mother said either we do or we take her everyday.....great in school....Just no respect for stuff as I kinda figured it would be like. Then again....I am just a step father



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    Re: Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave19642006 View Post
    And with the College now???? How does she get there
    You drop her off.


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    Re: Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help

    You plainly state that she had an opportunity to use your wisdom and understanding to resolve the problem and choose to ignore it. She can figure out what to do now. If she is in college, she needs to start being responsible and you need to be more forceful. I would take my daughter's keys away until there was enough oil in the car, even if I had to go get the oil and do it myself.



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    Re: Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help

    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclone62 View Post
    You drop her off.
    Ok I get up at 6am and go to work.....she has class at 8am...now I have to get up at 5am.....to get her there...that I wont mind...the 5am wakeup...I dont care for....she procrastinates....personally...not ready for that responsibility...but her mom thinks she is



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    Re: Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help

    You could tell her to find a way there herself. Maybe she'd have more respect for the vehicle that way.


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    Re: Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help

    All I can do now...is "Well, now how are you going to school....NOT with my car, so thats out of the question." seems to be the concensus of what is being typed



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    Re: Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave19642006 View Post
    I know it was a mistake.... Mother said either we do or we take her everyday.....great in school....Just no respect for stuff as I kinda figured it would be like. Then again....I am just a step father
    Being the step father would be a hard place.


    The gap in our economy is between what we have and what we think we ought to have--and that is a moral problem, not an economic one. - Paul Heyne

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    Re: Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help

    Quote Originally Posted by kingcy View Post
    Being the step father would be a hard place.
    I know that....bad end of the father part....



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    Re: Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help

    I refer you to my "source" on all things parenting:

    See 0:52 to 1:35

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R26jBVZFqtc&feature=related]YouTube - Titus S01EP05: Titus Integritous 3/3[/ame]

    Seriously, though. You did her a big favor in getting her the car. It's her fault she didn't take care of it properly. I'm a big believer in causality. She took the action of not taking care of the car, now the consequence is that she has to figure out how to get to college. Cause and effect.



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    Re: Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help

    Ive known chicks like this, and even some guys. That is what happens when u let ur kids play video games through their youth. Most of todays young generation has no idea how to pick up a hammer, let alone how the world REALLY works. Make her buy a car, she is an ADULT



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    Re: Ok....Daughter has a car - Parenting help

    I have two teenage daughters that are both driving.....one at ISU.....so I have some experience. My first bit of advice would be not to make any decisions for a least a couple of days. Give yourself a chance to cool down. Secondly, maybe you can find an old, very used station-wagon at a very reasonable price? Driving around in a "less than fashionable" set of wheels could be a great learning tool. Good luck

    PS: My daughter blew up a brand new snowmobile just last year. No oil


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