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  1. #1
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    I'm looking for some good jokes...

    About the Squakeyes!



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    Re: I'm looking for some good jokes...

    What do both Iowa and Iowa State fans have in common?

    Neither of them went to the University of Iowa...



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    Re: I'm looking for some good jokes...

    How do you get a Hawk cheerleader into your dorm room?
    1) Grease her hips and push
    2) If you're an Iowa athlete, you do it by force


    Quote Originally Posted by MNCyGuy View Post
    The only answer to "who/what is GeronimusClone?" is in fact "GeronimousClone". You're like The Todd on Scrubs.
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    This is why you're my favorite

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    GC, he's obviously all man. And I don't think Ellen would go *****, even for GC...

  4. #4
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    Re: I'm looking for some good jokes...

    Quote Originally Posted by GeronimusClone View Post
    How do you get a Hawk cheerleader into your dorm room?
    1) Grease her hips and push
    2) If you're an Iowa athlete, you do it by force
    Just like this guy!




  5. #5
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    Re: I'm looking for some good jokes...

    ESPN's Lee Corso was in Iowa City to announce a football game when he noticed a red phone near the Hawkeyes' bench. He asked Coach Kirk Ferentz what it was for.
    "It's a hotline to God," said Ferentz. Corso asked if he could use it. Ferentz said, "Sure, but it'll cost you $100."
    Corso thought he needed a break picking the games, so he pulled out his wallet and paid the $100. He had a perfect week.

    The next week, Corso was in Ames when he noticed the same kind of phone by the Cyclones' bench.
    He asked Paul Rhoads,
    "Is that the hotline to God?".
    Rhoads said, "Yes and if you want to use it, it'll cost 35 cents".
    Corso said, "Wait a second,I just paid $100 in Iowa City to use the hotline to God. Why does Ames only charge 35 cents?"
    Rhoads smiled at Corso and replied, "In Ames, it's a local call."



  6. #6
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    Re: I'm looking for some good jokes...

    A kindergarten teacher explains to her class that she is an Iowa Hawkeye. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Hawkeyes too.
    No one really knows what a Hawkeye is, but wanting to be like their teacher their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

    "Because I'm not a Hawkeye."

    "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"

    "Why, I'm a proud Iowa State Cyclone," boasts the little girl.

    The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Cyclone.

    "Well, my mom and dad are Cyclones, so I'm a Cyclone too."

    The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

    "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a Hawkeye."



  7. #7
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    Re: I'm looking for some good jokes...

    An Iowan was doing some shopping in downtown Des Moines. He looked up at the top of a tall building and discovered a man ready to jump...

    "Stop," he yelled, "remember you're someone who has value!"

    The man yelled back, "I just lost everything in the stock market!"

    "But remember you're important to your wife," yelled the Iowan.

    "She divorced me and took everything I had that was not in the stock market."

    "Your children, remember your children," yelled the Iowan.

    "They never call," said the man.

    "Then your parents, remember your parents," yelled the Iowan.

    "Dead as doornails," said the man.

    "Then think of all the Cyclone football games you will miss!" yelled the Iowan.

    The man shouted, "But, I'm a Hawkeye Fan!"

    The Iowan replied, "Jump, you dumb ***, JUMP!"



  8. #8
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    Re: I'm looking for some good jokes...

    Two muffins are in an oven. One looks at the other and says "Man, it's hot in here."
    The other screams "HOLY **** A TALKING MUFFIN!"
    Not an Iowa joke, but funny all the same.


    Quote Originally Posted by MNCyGuy View Post
    The only answer to "who/what is GeronimusClone?" is in fact "GeronimousClone". You're like The Todd on Scrubs.
    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    This is why you're my favorite

    Quote Originally Posted by MoreCowbell View Post
    GC, he's obviously all man. And I don't think Ellen would go *****, even for GC...

  9. #9
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    Re: I'm looking for some good jokes...

    Classic: Why is it so windy in Ames?

    Because Nebraska sucks and Iowa blows.



  10. #10
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    Re: I'm looking for some good jokes...

    How do you get an Iowa football player off your porch?

    Pay him for the pizza and tell him, "Thank you for the prompt delivery!"



  11. #11
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    Re: I'm looking for some good jokes...

    A man walked into a doctor's office. The doctor looked him over and diagnosed him with cancer. The doctor then said that the man only has 1 year to live. The man asked what he could do to make his life any longer. The doctor said, "Well, you could become an Iowa Hawkeye fan because that will be the longest year of your life."



  12. #12
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    Re: I'm looking for some good jokes...

    I heard that the Hawkeyes aren’t even going to be able to get into Ames Saturday. Some *** hole painted a goal line across I-35 and they can’t cross it.


    Quote Originally Posted by MNCyGuy View Post
    The only answer to "who/what is GeronimusClone?" is in fact "GeronimousClone". You're like The Todd on Scrubs.
    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    This is why you're my favorite

    Quote Originally Posted by MoreCowbell View Post
    GC, he's obviously all man. And I don't think Ellen would go *****, even for GC...

  13. #13
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    Re: I'm looking for some good jokes...

    Best one I've seen yet:


    A young hotshot lawyer, fresh out of the University of Iowa Law School, decided to go pheasant hunting with a few of his buddies. Finally, after hours of hunting, the lawyer was able to hit a bird that went down behind a group of trees.

    The lawyer followed the dogs, but came to a fence line, from where he could see the dead bird. He jumped the fence and headed for the bird when suddenly an Old farmer, wearing his ISU cap, appeared.

    Noticing the lawyer's blaze orange hawkeye cap, the farmer said: " What do you think you're doing on my property; didn't you notice that fence?

    To which the lawyer responded, "I'd just like to grab my bird and go."

    "Nope" said the farmer, "That bird belongs to me now."

    "Please?" responded the lawyer

    "I'll make you a deal" relplied the Old Man, "we can apply the Three-Hit-Rule - we take turns hitting each other three times as hard as we can, anywhere we can land the hit. When one of us gives up, the other person gets the bird."

    Reluctantly, the lawyer agreed.

    "Since this is my property, I get to go first." said the farmer

    The farmer wound up and landed his first hit directly in the lawyers stomach, making him double over on the ground. The farmer then took his steel toe boots and kicked the lawyer with all his might, right in the jaw. The lawyer flew backwards and was laying on his back on the ground in excrutiating pain. The farmer once more took his boot and planted it squarely in the lawyer's groin. The lawyer let out a huge yelp of pain and curled up in the fetal position.

    After a few minutes, bleeding & bruised, the lawyer regained some composure and was able to muster the strength to stand. He said to the farmer. "Now it's my turn old man, and you're never gonna get up when I'm done with you!"

    As the lawyer began to wind up for his first blow the old man relaxingly said, "I give up, you win, go ahead and take your bird!"



  14. #14
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    Re: I'm looking for some good jokes...

    Quote Originally Posted by GeronimusClone View Post
    I heard that the Hawkeyes aren’t even going to be able to get into Ames Saturday. Some *** hole painted a goal line across I-35 and they can’t cross it.




  15. #15
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    Re: I'm looking for some good jokes...

    Got this one compliments of a certain drum major at rehearsal yesterday...

    How many Iowa freshmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


    0. That's a Sophomore course.




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