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  1. #1
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    A three-point plan to make nascar a sport

    Three pre-race activities:

    1. Midget toss. The midgets and drivers are paired. Jeff Gordon and his midget, for example, both wear the same driver's outfit and helmet with all the ads. Then Jeff tosses his little guy. Jeff being Jeff finishes last because he's a *****.
    2. Strippers. You begin the race with the drivers gathered together watching their wives, girlfriends, groupies pole dancing while the boys hootin' and hollerin' the whole time each down a sixer of Grainbelt.
    3. Habitat for Humanity for nascar fans. The drivers and their crews do something socially redeemable and build a spanking new double-wide for one of their lucky fans. The driver's wives rustle up some possum stew for the hungry crew. The winning fan is the one who drinks the most cheap beer during the race.



  2. #2
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    Re: A three-point plan to make nascar a sport

    Quote Originally Posted by joepublic View Post
    Three pre-race activities:

    1. Midget toss. The midgets and drivers are paired. Jeff Gordon and his midget, for example, both wear the same driver's outfit and helmet with all the ads. Then Jeff tosses his little guy. Jeff being Jeff finishes last because he's a *****.
    2. Strippers. You begin the race with the drivers gathered together watching their wives, girlfriends, groupies pole dancing while the boys hootin' and hollerin' the whole time each down a sixer of Grainbelt.
    3. Habitat for Humanity for nascar fans. The drivers and their crews do something socially redeemable and build a spanking new double-wide for one of their lucky fans. The driver's wives rustle up some possum stew for the hungry crew. The winning fan is the one who drinks the most cheap beer during the race.
    Very stereotypical and I know I shouldn't feed this thread, but whatever. Would you like these pregame activities at Cyclone football games too? I mean there is a ton of Natty Light and double-wides at our tailgates. Most of college football must have an uneducated and hillbilly fanbase too.



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