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  1. #1
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    Best Sports Joke of the Year

    I am sure someone can top this joke, including some EIU blasts, but let's see who has a good joke to tell.

    Joke #1

    While I was watching the four NFL playoff games last weekend, my wife and I got into a conversation about life and death, and the need for living wills.

    During the course of the conversation I told her that I never wanted to exist in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and taking fluids from a bottle.

    She got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer.


    Your turn.


    CFH HMagic bball season next year.
    Let my Fred's Four Horsemen ride: Georges, Hogue, Nader, and McKay.

  2. #2
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    Re: Best Sports Joke of the Year

    Best sports joke? Fank Lauterbur's 1973 0-11 Hawkeye football squad. Michigan and OSU put 115 points on them.



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    Re: Best Sports Joke of the Year

    I dont know which is better. #1 is kinda depressing so I guess I have to pick #2. No football or beer...I might as well pull the plug if that is ever the case.



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    Re: Best Sports Joke of the Year

    How about the Hawkeyenation leader Jon Miller claiming for the last 2 years because Drew Tate would be a senior in 06 the Hawks were going to be in the National Title hunt.

    With Ohio State at home, Jon Millers only concern was if the Hawks were going to go 12-0 or 11-1.

    After whupping the likes of Montana and Syracuse (barely) the Hawks started out 4-0 only to loose 7 of their last 9 games and wind up with a loosing record of 6-7.

    Now that was a joke!


    :) Want the stadium full? Bring a friend!

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    Re: Best Sports Joke of the Year

    How about the Hawkeyenation leader Jon Miller claiming for the last 2 years because Drew Tate would be a senior in 06 the Hawks were going to be in the National Title hunt.
    Umm, I would suggest Q-tips my friend. Now, I have said that Iowa's best chances at a title run would be in 07 and 08, as Michigan and OSU fall off of Iowa's schedule.



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    Re: Best Sports Joke of the Year

    you throw enough ***** at a wall ...

    kidding, I'm out of your listening area, I have no idea.



  7. #7
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    Re: Best Sports Joke of the Year

    iowa's best chances at a title run are if the NCAA allows trades and a team like a Florida, Texas, or USC would SOMEHOW agree to trade THEIR entire team for iowa's entire team.

    Or their best chance would be if money spent actually translated 100% into wins...then maybe having a coach who gets more a year than pete carroll and hasn't even accomplished half as much as pete would actually mean something. Of course than it would be oklahoma winning it all, cuz Bobbie Stoops makes just a lil more than #2 ferentz per year.



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    Re: Best Sports Joke of the Year

    Here's one I heard years ago:



    Hayden Fry was speaking after dinner at a large meeting when an old guy in the back of the room who'd had a little too much to drink stood up and said, " Hey Hayden, I'm a Cyclone." Then he sat back down.

    Hayden decided to just let this pass without comment and went on speaking. About three minutes later, the old man stood up again and said, " Hey Hayden, I'm a Cyclone and my daddy was a Cyclone."

    Hayden didn't acknowledge this outburst either but decided he would be ready for the guy if there was a next time. Sure enough, three minutes later, the old fellow stood up and said, "Hey Hayden, I'm a Cyclone, my daddy was a Cyclone, and my granddad was a Cyclone. What do you think about that?

    Hayden, feeling smug that he was ready this time, issued this challenge to the old boy, " Well sir, if your granddad had been a ******* and your dad had been a *******, what would you be right now?

    The old guy came right back with, " I'd be a Hawkeye!"



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    Re: Best Sports Joke of the Year

    That wasn't just Jon, and it isn't anything new.

    Iowa fans ALWAYS are saying they are only a year or two away from the national title hunt. It's a predictable and regular as the sun coming up and the seasons changing.



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    Re: Best Sports Joke of the Year

    Quote Originally Posted by clonefarmer View Post
    Here's one I heard years ago:



    Hayden Fry was speaking after dinner at a large meeting when an old guy in the back of the room who'd had a little too much to drink stood up and said, " Hey Hayden, I'm a Cyclone." Then he sat back down.

    Hayden decided to just let this pass without comment and went on speaking. About three minutes later, the old man stood up again and said, " Hey Hayden, I'm a Cyclone and my daddy was a Cyclone."

    Hayden didn't acknowledge this outburst either but decided he would be ready for the guy if there was a next time. Sure enough, three minutes later, the old fellow stood up and said, "Hey Hayden, I'm a Cyclone, my daddy was a Cyclone, and my granddad was a Cyclone. What do you think about that?

    Hayden, feeling smug that he was ready this time, issued this challenge to the old boy, " Well sir, if your granddad had been a ******* and your dad had been a *******, what would you be right now?

    The old guy came right back with, " I'd be a Hawkeye!"
    The new leader...




  11. #11
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    Re: Best Sports Joke of the Year

    Quote Originally Posted by nfrine View Post
    The new leader...

    I've heard that one before only it involved an ignorant, idiotic kindergarten teacher and a 5-yr. old wise beyond her years.


    Chuck Lidell: I paint my toenails with pink and black polish. Problem is, I get more paint on my toes and on the carpet than on my nails. Any advice?
    Maria Sharapova: Don't you beat up other guys for a living? I don't know how to answer this.



  12. #12
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    Re: Best Sports Joke of the Year

    Quote Originally Posted by JonDMiller View Post
    Umm, I would suggest Q-tips my friend. Now, I have said that Iowa's best chances at a title run would be in 07 and 08, as Michigan and OSU fall off of Iowa's schedule.
    I don't normally get into these debates, but today I am feeling especially weak-so I will comment that from your lips to God's ears I heard you say prior to the 05 ( I think) season that Iowa could go "9-2 in their sleep"

    I realize that falls short of saying they would compete for a NC, but it speaks to the smugness we feel "some" Iowa fans have



  13. #13
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    Re: Best Sports Joke of the Year

    A woman was found passed out naked in the street - an ISU, UI, and UNI fan were walking by, and out of modesty decided to try to cover her up as best they could. So the ISU and UNI fans covered her chest with their hats and the Hawkeye put his Iowa hat over the girl's privates.
    Next thing you know, the cops show up and are examining the body. The detective lifts up the ISU and UNI hats and puts them down quickly, but keeps looking and looking at and under the Hawkeye hat. His partner asks, "what are you doing, you pervert? Why do you keep looking down there?" The other cop responds, "This is strange to me - I've never seen one of these Iowa hats without an a$$hole underneath it!"



  14. #14
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    Re: Best Sports Joke of the Year

    1. Why did the Hawkeyes switch to Astro Turf?

    To keep their cheerleaders from grazing!

    2. What is the difference between a Hawkeye cheerleader and an elephant?

    About 5 pounds!

    3. Why do all the trees in Iowa lean toward Iowa City?

    The Hawkeyes suck!



  15. #15
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    Re: Best Sports Joke of the Year

    One foggy night, a Hawk fan was heading west from Iowa City and a Cyclone fan was driving east from Ames. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars. The Hawk fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!" Likewise, the Cyclone fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

    The Hawk fan walks over to the Cyclone fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals." The Cyclone fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

    The Cyclone fan pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Hawk fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Hawk fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Hawk fan hands it back to the Cyclone fan and says, "Your turn!"

    The Cyclone fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."



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