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  1. #1
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    Punishing success

    So, I'm happily working on the internets, when what do I see, but a happy little e-mail from my friendly Army Reserve unit back in the states.

    The results from my Annual physical exam are back. 5 months after I took it, of course.

    Seems like I've been a very bad boy, and I need to correct a physical deficiency at my own expense, or risk being kicked out or punished under the Uniform Code of Military Justice for not complying with their instructions.

    What transgression have I committed, may you ask? Did I take illegal drugs, or catch some social disease, despite being married?

    Nope. I am being threatened with expulsion, or punishment, for being in exceptional physical condition. Seems my resting heart rate and blood pressure aren't high enough to be "normal".

    My resting heart rate is 39 and my blood pressure is 108 over 60. And I'm 45 years old. So, for the remainder of time that I am in good shape, and wish to stay in the Army Reserve, I will need to engage, at my own expense, the services of a series of vascular experts, who will then create a mountain of paperwork in order to prove that I'm in incredible shape.

    So, has anyone else heard anything as stupid as this in their lives? Have you ever experienced idiocy where an institution singles out those who excel and systematically punishes them? Besides the US Tax Code?


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  2. #2
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    Re: Punishing success

    First of all, good job taking care of yourself!

    I think I can help, grab about 3 bags of Doritos, there is breakfast. Get to a McDonald's for lunch, order the Big Mac combo meal and an extra double cheeseburger. For dinner you will need to find a pizza buffet. About 9:00 PM, find a Dairy Queen and get a LARGE Oreo Blizzard. Repeat this with as much effort as possible for about 2 weeks and you should 'pass' your next test!



  3. #3
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    Re: Punishing success

    Looks like you'd better buy some cigarettes and Jack Daniels, then go to the nearest Afghani McD's and order up about 20 1/4 pound goat burgers. Time to come back to the rest of us Phaedrus.


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  4. #4
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    Re: Punishing success

    Another reason to stay inside the "Anonymous Middle Third."


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  5. #5
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    Re: Punishing success

    I can't say i am suprised, punishing the extremely successful seems to be the new American way. Once someone has risin to extreme heights we seem to have to drag them back down to join the rest of us mear mortals.



  6. #6
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    Re: Punishing success

    Quote Originally Posted by Phaedrus View Post
    So, I'm happily working on the internets, when what do I see, but a happy little e-mail from my friendly Army Reserve unit back in the states.

    The results from my Annual physical exam are back. 5 months after I took it, of course.

    Seems like I've been a very bad boy, and I need to correct a physical deficiency at my own expense, or risk being kicked out or punished under the Uniform Code of Military Justice for not complying with their instructions.

    What transgression have I committed, may you ask? Did I take illegal drugs, or catch some social disease, despite being married?

    Nope. I am being threatened with expulsion, or punishment, for being in exceptional physical condition. Seems my resting heart rate and blood pressure aren't high enough to be "normal".

    My resting heart rate is 39 and my blood pressure is 108 over 60. And I'm 45 years old. So, for the remainder of time that I am in good shape, and wish to stay in the Army Reserve, I will need to engage, at my own expense, the services of a series of vascular experts, who will then create a mountain of paperwork in order to prove that I'm in incredible shape.

    So, has anyone else heard anything as stupid as this in their lives? Have you ever experienced idiocy where an institution singles out those who excel and systematically punishes them? Besides the US Tax Code?
    I'd like to blame this on BHO, but it's just our American way. Good luck with that.


    "95% of all quotes posted on Facebook are either made up or mistakenly attributed to someone famous." - Albert Einstien


  7. #7
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    Re: Punishing success

    Quote Originally Posted by Phaedrus View Post
    Have you ever experienced idiocy where an institution singles out those who excel and systematically punishes them? Besides the US Tax Code?
    Cyclone Fanatic.



  8. #8
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    Re: Punishing success

    I would print the email and take it with when you got take the next set of tests. Read it right before you start and the anger should get your BP and heart rate up a little.



  9. #9
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    Re: Punishing success

    Is this my daily reminder that Phaedrus is in good shape?


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    I will admit, I am to blame in sometimes making mountains out of molehills.

  10. #10
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    Re: Punishing success

    I'm sure that anything under 50 or so just gets flagged automatically. My bet is that they want to make sure you don't have bradycardia (Bradycardia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) or something similar.



  11. #11
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    Re: Punishing success

    Quote Originally Posted by Phaedrus View Post
    So, I'm happily working on the internets, when what do I see, but a happy little e-mail from my friendly Army Reserve unit back in the states.

    The results from my Annual physical exam are back. 5 months after I took it, of course.

    Seems like I've been a very bad boy, and I need to correct a physical deficiency at my own expense, or risk being kicked out or punished under the Uniform Code of Military Justice for not complying with their instructions.

    What transgression have I committed, may you ask? Did I take illegal drugs, or catch some social disease, despite being married?

    Nope. I am being threatened with expulsion, or punishment, for being in exceptional physical condition. Seems my resting heart rate and blood pressure aren't high enough to be "normal".

    My resting heart rate is 39 and my blood pressure is 108 over 60. And I'm 45 years old. So, for the remainder of time that I am in good shape, and wish to stay in the Army Reserve, I will need to engage, at my own expense, the services of a series of vascular experts, who will then create a mountain of paperwork in order to prove that I'm in incredible shape.

    So, has anyone else heard anything as stupid as this in their lives? Have you ever experienced idiocy where an institution singles out those who excel and systematically punishes them? Besides the US Tax Code?
    Is the government, in any way, involved in this? Oh, they are? Nuff said!



  12. #12
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    Re: Punishing success

    Quote Originally Posted by ketchupnmustard View Post
    Another reason to stay inside the "Anonymous Middle Third."
    The nails that stand up, get hammered down.

    Quote Originally Posted by saf View Post
    I'm sure that anything under 50 or so just gets flagged automatically. My bet is that they want to make sure you don't have bradycardia (Bradycardia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) or something similar.
    I offered an alternative event. In lieu of going to an expensive specialist, on my own dime, I offered to run with the doc, any distance, until I ran him into the ground. He didn't take me up on it.


    I'm baaack! See my Hot Milk For Breakfast blog under Social Groups for more details

  13. #13
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    Re: Punishing success

    Resting bradycardia is often considered normal if the individual has no other symptoms such as fatigue, weakness, dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, chest discomfort, palpitations or shortness of breath associated with it.

    Well, that is SO not me.

    Why do I need to pay a specialist to tell me that, again?


    I'm baaack! See my Hot Milk For Breakfast blog under Social Groups for more details

  14. #14
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    Re: Punishing success

    Im an advocate of smoking large quantities of tobacco. I hear that may be just what the docter ordered!



  15. #15
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    Re: Punishing success

    I had a teacher in HS with the same 'problem.' Low HR and BP. Really fit, ran a lot. Had constricted airway passages in his nose though, so went in for surgery once to have his nasal passages opened up. They put him under, but since his regular resting heartrate was so low, they didn't realize that when his HR went to like, 80 or 90, that it was significantly elevated. That was 'normal' they figured. He was awake for the entire surgery, but unable to move or speak or anything. SUCK.



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