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Thread: new diet

  1. #1
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    Wink new diet

    Yesterday I was buying a 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Walmart,
    > for my dogs
    > Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus. I was about to check out when a
    > woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, that I had
    > an elephant?
    > Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I
    > didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again,
    > although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last
    > time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened
    > in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my
    > body and IVs in both arms.
    > I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
    > that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
    > eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
    > nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
    > mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with

    > my story by now.)
    >
    > Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
    > food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of
    > the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.
    >
    > I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
    > laughing so hard! WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.



  2. #2
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    Re: new diet

    Funniest thing I've read all year. I wish I had been there.



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    Re: new diet

    Quote Originally Posted by 1100011CS View Post
    WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
    Because you started humping her leg.



  4. #4
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    Re: new diet

    Quote Originally Posted by 4429 mcc View Post
    Because you started humping her leg.

    +1



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    Re: new diet

    Why were you licking your butt in the middle of the parking lot?? That just sounds too dangerous to be true.. You should be ashamed of yourself young man..








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    Re: new diet

    why did you type > in front of every line? or maybe you copied and pasted from an email that was forwarded to you?


    Husker Hater

  7. #7
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    Re: new diet

    Quote Originally Posted by dinger View Post
    why did you type > in front of every line? or maybe you copied and pasted from an email that was forwarded to you?



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