Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 42
  1. #1
    Walk On
    Points: 6,562, Level: 24
    Level completed: 3%, Points required for next Level: 488
    Overall activity: 1.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran5000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    QC
    Posts
    143
    Points
    6,562
    Level
    24
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 0
    Given: 0

    How much to pay for your Daughters wedding?

    My daughter recently got engaged. They told me they would like to get married at our house. We live on 3 acres so that isn't a big deal to me. I told her I would pay for the food at the Country Club at the reception and a couple kegs of beer. This will be around $3,000. We will also have to spend a couple of thousand to get the yard ready for the wedding as she wants a gazebo to get married in. I am divorced from her mother and her husband to be is also from a divorced family. I told them that if all of the parents kick in $3,000 they should be able to have a pretty nice wedding. My daughter feels I should pay much more because she is sure her mother won't give her anything.

    My daughter and her fiancee are 27 and 26 years old in case that matters.

    What is fare to us and what is fare for my daughter?



  2. #2
    Speechless
    Points: 336,980, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 30.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    ISUFan22's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Grimes, IA
    Posts
    31,904
    Points
    336,980
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 176
    Given: 208

    Re: How much to pay for your Daughters wedding?

    Heck...we got maybe $1000-1500 total from both of our parents when we got married - and we never asked them for a dime of that money. We were only 22 at the time of our wedding also.

    I know it's tradition and all for parents to help pay for weddings - yet they constantly get more and more expensive - with the bride & groom wanting more "extra" stuff as time goes by. Sometimes you have to decide what's more important (the you being the bride and groom) - having a big, fancy wedding while breaking everyone's bank...or having a nice simple wedding with less extra stuff yet more emphasis on actually getting married and enjoying the day.

    You do what you want - yet I'd stick to what I feel is adequate. $3000 for one person to shell out is a ton of money.



  3. #3
    Addict
    Points: 59,716, Level: 75
    Level completed: 78%, Points required for next Level: 334
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    guitarchitect7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    6,318
    Points
    59,716
    Level
    75
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 0
    Given: 1

    Re: How much to pay for your Daughters wedding?

    I could post something on this, but as a regular known member, that would make too much info public. So all I would say is this; Money doesn't buy happiness. Elegance is only remembered once, love is remembered forever.


    "You must try to generate happiness within yourself. If you aren't happy in one place, chances are you won't be happy anyplace." -- Ernie Banks



  4. #4
    All-Star
    Points: 14,051, Level: 36
    Level completed: 1%, Points required for next Level: 799
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran10000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    1,012
    Points
    14,051
    Level
    36
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 0
    Given: 0

    Re: How much to pay for your Daughters wedding?

    An average wedding costs between $20,000 and $30,000.

    Of course you can spend less, or spend a LOT more. It's really up to you.



  5. #5
    Legend
    Points: 218,132, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 4.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran50000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    10,306
    Points
    218,132
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 240
    Given: 310

    Re: How much to pay for your Daughters wedding?

    Seriously a bare bones wedding is around 10K. I just go married in August so I know. The place we rented was $750 so all off the food and drinks were around 9K. So I would say that no matter how much you dislike her mom you need to speak with her about it.

    Also Make sure you give at least 500 more than her mom so that you are the cool dad.



  6. #6
    Rookie
    Points: 8,590, Level: 27
    Level completed: 74%, Points required for next Level: 160
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran5000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    389
    Points
    8,590
    Level
    27
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 4
    Given: 0

    Re: How much to pay for your Daughters wedding?

    Ouch! Normally, the bride's family pays for the wedding (groom's family pays for the rehearsal unless they are wealthy). That leaves you and your ex to foot the bill for the wedding/dress/invitations etc. In cases like these, take the high road, and do whatever you can afford to do financially. In the long run, it will pay off.



  7. #7
    square root(31) = 5.56776436
    Points: 497,730, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 13.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialYour first GroupVeteran50000 Experience PointsRecommendation Second Class
    Angie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    IA
    Posts
    17,633
    Points
    497,730
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 753
    Given: 3,023

    Re: How much to pay for your Daughters wedding?

    Just 'cause I got married a year ago in September, and read a lot of etiquette books at the time...

    Traditionally, it would all be on you and mom to split the wedding and reception, daughter's dress, etc., with little to the daughter or the groom's parents. His parents' sole responsibility for the actual event would be rehearsal dinner, as well as a few other items. See this site for the traditional response.

    However... a lot has changed since then. My parents helped us, but it was our full intention to pay for the entire thing. This is just kind of the formal guideline, but with adult children, etc., it's kind of a judgment call on what you're all comfortable with. If you and your ex are going the traditional route and paying for everything, that gives you a lot more say over what the wedding actually entails - your money, your choices. If your daughter wants a bigger wedding, more of it should fall on her.


    Last edited by Angie; 12-15-2006 at 11:20 AM.
    M 7/09

  8. #8
    Speechless
    Points: 253,918, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 12.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    BryceC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    16,664
    Points
    253,918
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 131
    Given: 0

    Re: How much to pay for your Daughters wedding?

    I don't even know how much was spent on my wedding, it makes my head hurt to think about it. My wife's dad was WAYYY into it though and I actually had to discourage him from spending more.

    For a bit of perspective though, I think we spent at least 3000 just on the photographer. I can't remember how much we spent on catering, but I remember it was pretty reasonable (from hickory park) but was still more than I thought it would be.

    My wife and I paid for our honeymoon, but we got a lot of help with the other stuff.




  9. #9
    Swarm & Punish
    Points: 286,902, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 15.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteranCreated Album pictures50000 Experience Points
    keepngoal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    19,769
    Points
    286,902
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 413
    Given: 788

    Re: How much to pay for your Daughters wedding?

    For your situation I would:

    1) Come up with a budget for the entire (deposits, beer, gazebo, dress, invitations, pictures, honeymoon? ...). Be sure to include the bride and groom, so they understand all of the variables.
    2) Figure out who (according to your values) should/could help out with costs. Don't expect it be an even split.
    3) Then ask each of these people how much of the budget they would be willing to help out. Or better yet, which items on the list they would be responsible for. This creates a fixed $$ amount (or they could splurge in an area at a later time) and a payment time line is also created as things are needed to be checked off as done on the list.
    4) Be prepared for the budget to move up and down. So have a built in 'fluff' amount that maybe only known to you. Also be prepared for a l et down from a person that committed something and didn't. And be sure to NOT make it an issue about it or to them for that day or up to that day.

    I hope this helps.

    - keep.


    The first and best victory is to conquer self; to be conquered by self is of all things most shameful and vile. - Plato

    May you only need 39 acres to turn your rig around. - keep

  10. #10
    Pro
    Points: 37,162, Level: 59
    Level completed: 43%, Points required for next Level: 688
    Overall activity: 8.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran25000 Experience Points
    wonkadog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Ames, IA
    Posts
    3,384
    Points
    37,162
    Level
    59
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 83
    Given: 107

    Re: How much to pay for your Daughters wedding?

    Wow, I guess I'll head back to my cardboard box now. "10k for a bare bones wedding" and "3000 on the photographer"??? Geez guys, didn't know I was interacting with such a bunch of elites!! I'll go back to cleaning off my cardboard "give me money" sign while you all discuss weddings over Royal Crown Cola...



  11. #11
    Walk On
    Points: 6,562, Level: 24
    Level completed: 3%, Points required for next Level: 488
    Overall activity: 1.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran5000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    QC
    Posts
    143
    Points
    6,562
    Level
    24
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 0
    Given: 0

    Re: How much to pay for your Daughters wedding?

    I thought I would clarify some of the costs.

    I belong to a small town Country Club that won't charge a fee other than the food cost since I am a member. They are looking a 100 to 125 people at around $22 a plate. The kegs are $150 per.

    They can get a DJ for $600 to $700 for 5 hours.
    The Photographer is $1500 to $2000 depending on who they go with.
    Flowers are not known yet.

    I would hope she could find a resoanable dress for under $700???

    I have 2 sons that will be in thew weddings so I feel I will pay for the Tux rental for them and myself.

    What am I missing? It was 10 years ago I got remarried and we paid around $6,000 for our wedding with the same number of people.

    Thanks for the input.



  12. #12
    Speechless
    Points: 253,918, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 12.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    BryceC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    16,664
    Points
    253,918
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 131
    Given: 0

    Re: How much to pay for your Daughters wedding?

    It didn't really bother me, because hey, it's something I'll do one time and I want it to be a big deal, because it is a big deal.




  13. #13
    square root(31) = 5.56776436
    Points: 497,730, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 13.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialYour first GroupVeteran50000 Experience PointsRecommendation Second Class
    Angie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    IA
    Posts
    17,633
    Points
    497,730
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 753
    Given: 3,023

    Re: How much to pay for your Daughters wedding?

    There will also be (if you use each): videographer, favors, decorations (which are incredibly expensive), bridesmaid's dresses (which they may pay for, depending on how traditional you are), ring bearer/flower girl stuff, chair rental (if needed) for your house, etc. We did an outdoor wedding in an Ames park, and we had to rent chairs, a PA, tables, buy an arch to get married under, decorate, etc. Minister/justice-of-peace will have a fee. Got a harpist, which was additional money - no matter what route you go w/music (piped in or live), there will be some fee. The reception needs totally different decorations (unless you have someone transporting them from the wedding to there), as well as the standard fees.


    Last edited by Angie; 12-15-2006 at 11:29 AM.
    M 7/09

  14. #14
    Facebook Knows All
    Points: 276,906, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 23.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    cycloneworld's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    NE Oklahoma
    Posts
    16,374
    Points
    276,906
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 359
    Given: 150

    Re: How much to pay for your Daughters wedding?

    After reading this....



    I am never getting married.



  15. #15
    Rookie
    Points: 9,770, Level: 29
    Level completed: 70%, Points required for next Level: 180
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran5000 Experience Points
    DevilDog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Cedar Falls
    Posts
    415
    Points
    9,770
    Level
    29
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 2
    Given: 0

    Re: How much to pay for your Daughters wedding?

    My sister and brother in law got married this fall and paid for everything including the tuxes and dresses for the wedding party. It was a fairly simply rehearsal and ceremony. I know they got awesome gifts due to this fact.


    Cyclone State Now & Forever

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
  • TV: FOX
  • Iowa State vs. Baylor
  • September 27, 2014
  • 07:20 PM