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  1. #1
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    Off-topic: Relationship help

    Off-topic, but I could use some relationship advice. I had been seriously dating a girl for almost 2 years. The first 8 months were the best of my life (I thought she was the “one”), then school forced us to have a long-distance relationship. I was getting really stressed and obsessive with school, so the latter portion of our relationship was not as great, but still okay. Then we broke up last summer. It was kind of mutual, but I am the one that made the final call. It was not because we did not care for each other anymore, but for some reason I placed school/work ahead of her. Also, she was the only GF I have had, so maybe a little curiosity was at play. I immediately missed her (she was my best friend at the time), so to solidify the break-up, I proceeded to not communicate with her at all for almost 6-7 months. For the past 4 months we have been occasionally hanging-out/talking. I completely realize now that I did not have my priorities straight a year ago. What should I do? I have not told her how I currently feel, but she acts differently around me than she used to. I am 24.
    Thanks for any help/advice anyone can/does give. I got advice from a buddy last summer, and now regret not getting more opinions.



  2. #2
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    Re: Off-topic: Relationship help

    Honesty is the best policy.



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    Re: Off-topic: Relationship help

    Quote Originally Posted by ISUFan22 View Post
    Honesty is the best policy.
    QFT.

    Obviously she doesn't hate you as she still hangs around. I would think the best thing is to admit that you feel like you made a mistake and find out where she stands on the topic.


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    Re: Off-topic: Relationship help

    Hit her.



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    Re: Off-topic: Relationship help

    Ok don't do that



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    Re: Off-topic: Relationship help

    Yeah, I agree to be honest with her.

    As you grow and mature you will start to see your priorities change. Relationships are successful not only because the two people are compatible but also because of timing and where you are in your lives. Maybe the timing is right now.



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    Re: Off-topic: Relationship help

    First rule --- NEVER make a longterm decision based on a "girlfriend".

    Second rule --- if you love her then tell her! Then confess everything that was going through your head and why it you were acting like a jerk. She can either see you for what you WERE, or see you for how you want to be going forward. All you can do is put yourself "out there".

    Maybe the space you "granted" her let her come to some conclusions. Won't know until you lay it all bare.

    Women - can't live with 'em, can't stuff 'em in a sack.



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    Re: Off-topic: Relationship help

    You have to remember a couple of things though...

    It will never be exactly the same...

    She WILL hold it against you for the previous break up, no matter what she says...



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  9. #9
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    Re: Off-topic: Relationship help

    Quote Originally Posted by cybsball20 View Post
    You have to remember a couple of things though...

    It will never be exactly the same...

    She WILL hold it against you for the previous break up, no matter what she says...
    Not true. Some may, others won't.



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    Re: Off-topic: Relationship help

    Marry her. She'll change eventually, probably after kid 1 or 2. Then it'll be smooth sailing the rest of the way.


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    Re: Off-topic: Relationship help

    Talk to her about your feelings. She may feel the same way, but be hesitant to bring it up since you are the one that ended things before. What's the worst that could happen? I'd say the opportunity for benefits (no, not those kind) outweigh the risks of putting yourself out there.

    Good luck. You came to the right place to ask for advice! ;)


    Quote Originally Posted by 2020cy View Post
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    Sweeeeeeet...

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    Re: Off-topic: Relationship help

    Harvey Dent says you should flip a coin.



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    Re: Off-topic: Relationship help

    If you are honest and she brings up the word married, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom then get the hell out of there.


    “There have been a lotta tough guys. There have been pretenders. And there have been contenders. But there is only one king.”

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    Re: Off-topic: Relationship help

    She was your best friend, too? You better get this together, my friend. Go to her.



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    Re: Off-topic: Relationship help

    Quote Originally Posted by swarthmoreCY View Post
    Thanks for any help/advice anyone can/does give. I got advice from a buddy last summer, and now regret not getting more opinions.
    Lemme guess - your buddy has a "bros before hos" policy? Yeah, I've got those kinds of friends as well. I never went to them for relationship advice...


    "That's what I do. I drink, and I know things." - Tyrion Lannister

    "Success is just failure that hasn't happened yet." - life advice from Latrell Spreewell


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