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Thread: 10,000 BC

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    10,000 BC

    Evidently stands for 10,000 bunch o crap. The anachronisms are hilarious. Somehow, they managed to extend the age of sail back about 8000 or so years. Did you know wooly mammoths helped to construct the pyramids? Too bad they weren't started until 7000 years later. They also evidently domesticated horses and rode them 7000 years or so early as well, not even mentioning the fact that they had stirrups.

    As luck would have it, all of this horrible bludgeoning of world history is nicely wrapped inside a tale that may solve sleep disorders world wide.



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    Re: 10,000 BC

    I saw the trailer. Looked absolutely horrid.

    My wife hit me when I laughed at the blue-eyed cave girl "hottie".

    Stirrups? Why not AK-47s? Or Phase Rifles in the 40 Watt range.

    Developmentally speaking, the time frames are similar, between cavemen and stirrups.


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    Re: 10,000 BC

    Darn it. I was hoping to have a good movie to tide me over till Iron Man or the next batman!

    Thanks for the review.



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    Re: 10,000 BC

    Quote Originally Posted by rhillary View Post
    Darn it. I was hoping to have a good movie to tide me over till Iron Man or the next batman!

    Thanks for the review.
    We did see the new Batman trailer leading up to the movie. It looks freaking awesome.



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    Re: 10,000 BC

    They wanted to make a fun story...



    Last edited by Wesley; 03-08-2008 at 06:46 PM.
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    Re: 10,000 BC

    Just had to add a few more things from this cinematographical assault on history from which Hawkeye fans and their offspring may never recover.

    Was that a sextant?

    Dude carrying an iron sword?

    A bronze/ gold capstone on the pyramid?

    Table full of maps. Cartography? Really?

    To top the whole mess, Captain Caveman magically traverses the desert along with the ethnically diverse lost tribes of Africa using.......tada..... astronomical observations.

    The saving grace for this movie may be a tremendous drinking game when it comes out on dvd.


    Last edited by Cyclonepride; 03-08-2008 at 06:11 PM.

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    Re: 10,000 BC

    I really dont think they were going for historical exactness for this movie. It was just a story. If we want to be picky lets go back to Gladiator and all of the names of the characters of that movie were from various time periods. Sometimes a movie is just a movie.



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    Re: 10,000 BC

    Quote Originally Posted by bostinelosd View Post
    I really dont think they were going for historical exactness for this movie. It was just a story. If we want to be picky lets go back to Gladiator and all of the names of the characters of that movie were from various time periods. Sometimes a movie is just a movie.
    Sorry, but I just wasn't feelin' it brother. If it was a great story, or a great action film, then ok. To be fair, my expectation was an action film with an interesting historical backdrop.



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    Re: 10,000 BC

    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclonepride View Post
    Evidently stands for 10,000 bunch o crap. The anachronisms are hilarious. Somehow, they managed to extend the age of sail back about 8000 or so years. Did you know wooly mammoths helped to construct the pyramids? Too bad they weren't started until 7000 years later. They also evidently domesticated horses and rode them 7000 years or so early as well, not even mentioning the fact that they had stirrups.

    As luck would have it, all of this horrible bludgeoning of world history is nicely wrapped inside a tale that may solve sleep disorders world wide.
    You forgot to mention that this movie takes place 6000 years before the world was created.


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    Re: 10,000 BC

    I just may go see it to be able to say I've seen a worse movie than "Pearl Harbor".

    It's not every day you can say THAT.

    A movie isn't just a movie, if they make the historical/date reference. Now, if they recreated "Alley Oop", they could do whatever they want, especially if they had fun with it. I bet that I could write a whimsical screenplay that combined all the elements Cyclonepride is complaining about, and make it into a fun movie worth seeing.


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    Re: 10,000 BC

    Quote Originally Posted by bostinelosd View Post
    I really dont think they were going for historical exactness for this movie. It was just a story. If we want to be picky lets go back to Gladiator and all of the names of the characters of that movie were from various time periods. Sometimes a movie is just a movie.
    While I somewhat agree with this sentiment, if that was the intent, they shouldn't have named their movie with a specific year. If they wanted to make a movie about all of pre-recorded history, they should have come up with a different title, IMO.


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    Re: 10,000 BC

    No. 10,000 BC is a mishmash of humanity's true beginnings.

    To start things off, the geography/climate of the movie is totally incorrect. The movie takes place during the beginning of the mesolithic era, which was immediately after the end of the ice age. The ice age ended about 12,000 years ago, causing a global warming of almost 15° and major sea level changes. All megafauna (saber-tooth tigers, mammoths, etc.) became extinct soon after this period, giving a rise to the hunting of small game. Tundra became forest, but most importantly, tribes moved closer and closer to the sea, because that is where the most resources were. There was language 10,000 years ago, but it wasn't remotely similar to English, and tribes would have had their own dialects and languages.

    The most historically inaccurate part of the movie is the whole concept of civilization. 10,000 years ago, humans were living in pit-structured houses and did not possess the technology to build any form of large buildings such as pyramids, as shown in the film. The film portrays humanity living in large, structured civilizations and cities, things that did not form until the end of the mesolithic era about 5,000 years ago.

    In addition, at the end of the movie, D'leh is given some seeds to help his tribe to overcome food scarcity by planting them and domesticating agriculture. The seeds he is given, however, include corn/maize, which only existed at that time in the Americas.

    Some critics have moaned that as film technology grows, the storytelling ability of the movies shrinks. I have never quite agreed with this assessment, as I believe there is a place for spectacle of any variety, even the mindless kind. However, to those who share the view of those critics, 10,000 B.C. will most likely be the most convincing piece of evidence to their argument. Here is a movie that looks like it cost millions to make, but is saddled with a screenplay that looks like it came from the Dollar Store.

    Director and co-writer, Roland Emmerich is no stranger to brainless spectacles. This is the guy who brought us Independence Day and 1998's Hollywood take on Godzilla, after all. There's a very fine line between brainless and just plain brain dead, unfortunately. 10,000 B.C. is short on spectacle, short on plot, and short on just about anything that people go to the movies for. There are characters and a love story to drive the bare bones plot, but this seems to be added in as an afterthought. I got the impression that Emmerich and fellow screenwriter, Harald Kloser (a film score composer making his first screenplay credit), had the idea for a couple cool scenes, then tried to add a bunch of filler material between them. They threw in some sketchy characters that hardly reach two dimensions to inhabit this filler, and called it a screenplay. In order for spectacle to work, even the cheese-filled variety such as this, there has to be something for the audience to get excited about. This movie is just one big tease.

    The plot, if it can even be called that, is set in the days of early man. The heroes are an unnamed tribal people who speak perfect English, all have the bodies of supermodels, and hunt mammoths for food. The two characters we're supposed to be focused on are a pair of young lovers named D'Leh (Steven Strait) and Evolet (Camilla Belle). Why they are in love, and why we should care about them, the movie never goes out of its way to explain. The rest of the villagers do not really matter. They exist simply to be captured when a group of foreign invaders come riding into their peaceful tribe, and kidnap most of them to work as slaves back in their own home colony. Evolet is one of the captured, so D'Leh and a small handful of others set out to find where they've been taken to, and to seek the aid of other tribes that have also been invaded by this enemy. There's a mammoth herd here, a saber tooth tiger there, but they have nothing to do with anything. They're just computer generated special effects who are there simply because the filmmakers felt the current scene needed a special effect shot. I'd be more impressed if the effects didn't look so out of place with the actors most of the time.

    10,000 B.C. probably would have worked better as a silent movie, or a subtitled one, as most of the dialogue that comes out of the mouths of these people are as wooden as the spears they carry. The good tribes are the only people in this movie who have mastered the Queen's English, naturally. The evil invading tribe speak in subtitles, and sometimes have their voices mechanically altered and lowered, so that they sound more threatening and demonic. No one in this movie is allowed to have a personality, or act differently from one another. Everybody in each tribe talks, thinks, and behaves exactly the same, with facial hair and differing body types being the main way to tell them apart. This would make it hard to get involved in the story, but the movie dodges this tricky issue by not even having a story in the first place. Once the film's main tribe is attacked, the movie turns into an endless string of filler material and padding to drag the whole thing out to feature length. Aside from a brief encounter with some bird-like prehistoric creatures, there are no moments of action or danger until D'Leh and his followers reach the land of the invading army. The movie throws a saber tooth tiger encounter to fool us into thinking something's gonna happen, but the tiger winds up being just as boring as the human characters inhabiting the movie, and is just millions in special effects budget wasted on something that didn't need to be there in the first place, other than to move the shaky plot along.

    There is a key ingredient missing in 10,000 B.C., and that is fun. This movie is not fun to watch at all. I kept on waiting for something, anything, to happen. When something eventually did happen, it was usually underwhelming. I know of people who are interested in seeing this movie, because of the special effects, or because they think it looks enjoyably cheesy. To those people, I say please do not be drawn in by curiosity. This isn't even enjoyable in a bad sense. Your precious time is worth more than what any theater may be charging to see this movie. For anyone wondering, yes, that includes the budget cinema and the price of a rental.

    There were so many things wrong with this movie. First of all, the village elder has a First Nations look to her. Believable. So, how then, with no other tribes or villages in sight, do all the younger people look as if they were the product of mixing with European cultures? Then, when the "four-legged demons" come, it turns out they are Middle Eastern/Indian-looking men on horseback with metal helmets. What???! Domestic horses and metal helmets?? In 10,000 BC?? And isn't it getting a little old casting Middle Easterners and Indians as the bad guys?? Aren't we sick of this BS yet??

    Even forgetting the terrible EVERYTHING about this movie, if one were only going for the CGI and war scenes, the first half hour has about two minutes of action and the rest is sentimental, misogynistic drivel about who is going to win the right to take the blue-eyed outsider as a wife. She just sits around being useless while the camera closes up on her white skin and blue eyes. Are you kidding me? GAG.

    Do yourself a favour and rent Conan the Barbarian, because it's waaaay better than this piece of poo.
    .



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    Re: 10,000 BC

    Wow Dave... That was quite the post.

    This movie sounds like a load of crap...

    But I did like the mindless Independence Day.



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    Re: 10,000 BC

    Quote Originally Posted by superdorf View Post
    Wow Dave... That was quite the post.

    This movie sounds like a load of crap...

    But I did like the mindless Independence Day.

    I think the all-star cast saved ID4. 10,000 has a bunch of nobodies I think.



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    Re: 10,000 BC

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave19642006 View Post
    Wall of Text
    Wow, you really feel strongly about this don't you?


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