Judgmentalism
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Judgmentalism

  1. #1
    Addict
    Points: 76,794, Level: 86
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 1,556
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    SocialRecommendation First ClassVeteranCreated Album pictures50000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Khorasan
    Posts
    5,111
    Points
    76,794
    Level
    86
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 2
    Given: 0

    Judgmentalism

    So, yesterday, someone asks me if they should buy a house with their girlfriend. I suggest to them that it would be better if they waited until they were married.

    My point is that owning a home is a business deal, and conducting business deals with someone you are emotionally involved with, but not legally bound to in the eyes of the law, has unacceptable risks.

    Of course, they respond to this (good) advice by calling names, and having a screaming hissy fit. I'm too "judgemental".

    Come to think of it, I AM judgemental. I judge solvency to be superior to indebtedness. I judge living to be superior, in most cases, to being dead.

    So... I figured this might touch some nerves, and be satisfactorily discussion-worthy to take on. What, precisely is the difference between being "judgemental" and being "discerning"?


    I'm baaack! See my Hot Milk For Breakfast blog under Social Groups for more details

  2. #2
    All-Star
    Points: 17,268, Level: 40
    Level completed: 3%, Points required for next Level: 782
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteranCreated Album pictures10000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Ames
    Posts
    1,599
    Points
    17,268
    Level
    40
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 0
    Given: 0

    Re: Judgementalism

    What, precisely is the difference between being "judgemental" and being "discerning"?

    It's all about context, and in your case you are being discerning. This of course is assuming you to be the objective and logical person that I've seen posting here.



  3. #3
    Addict Achievements:
    SocialYour first GroupRecommendation Second ClassVeteran50000 Experience Points
    CTAClone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Amerika
    Posts
    9,218
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 1
    Given: 0

    Re: Judgementalism

    My question is, mainly because I don't know, what difference does it make if you buy a house with someone if you are married or not? If you split, what happens to the house? You both still own it, married or not, correct?

    I don't know if I'm answering your question or not, but what I know of buying houses, it doesn't matter if you are married or not.


    "If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses."



  4. #4
    Addict
    Points: 146,976, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 12.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    6,187
    Points
    146,976
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 1
    Given: 0

    Re: Judgementalism

    So why did they ask you? Hoping for the answer they wanted to hear?



  5. #5
    Bench Warmer Achievements:
    Veteran5000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    276
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 0
    Given: 0

    Re: Judgementalism

    You're usually judgmental when either a) you tell someone what they don't want to hear, or b) answer a question without considering the emotional weight (which is usually a much better idea, but is also the road less traveled). Discerning is the rest of the time.



  6. #6
    All-Star
    Points: 17,268, Level: 40
    Level completed: 3%, Points required for next Level: 782
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteranCreated Album pictures10000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Ames
    Posts
    1,599
    Points
    17,268
    Level
    40
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 0
    Given: 0

    Re: Judgementalism

    It's your son right?



  7. #7
    Addict
    Points: 76,794, Level: 86
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 1,556
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    SocialRecommendation First ClassVeteranCreated Album pictures50000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Khorasan
    Posts
    5,111
    Points
    76,794
    Level
    86
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 2
    Given: 0

    Re: Judgementalism

    Quote Originally Posted by CTAClone View Post
    My question is, mainly because I don't know, what difference does it make if you buy a house with someone if you are married or not? If you split, what happens to the house? You both still own it, married or not, correct?

    I don't know if I'm answering your question or not, but what I know of buying houses, it doesn't matter if you are married or not.
    If you are married, the house is normally disposed of through legal means in the divorce settlement (though not always, depending on the settlement). If you aren't married, you both are 100% on the hook for the debt. At least that is my understanding. I was also looking to see if any of our lawyers on board could provide some insight on how it works.

    I'm assuming marriage relationships are also more stable than "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationships, in that there is at least a legal pledge involved. Again, I know that is not always the case.

    I also question making a 30 year commitment with someone you are unwilling or unable to make a marriage commitment with.

    I HAVE very strong opinions on marriage versus living together, but I don't think they are relevant to property ownership and debt. Except in very tangential ways.

    But that thread would belong in the Cave, I fear....


    I'm baaack! See my Hot Milk For Breakfast blog under Social Groups for more details

  8. #8
    Addict
    Points: 76,794, Level: 86
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 1,556
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    SocialRecommendation First ClassVeteranCreated Album pictures50000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Khorasan
    Posts
    5,111
    Points
    76,794
    Level
    86
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 2
    Given: 0

    Re: Judgementalism

    Quote Originally Posted by drum1306 View Post
    You're usually judgmental when either a) you tell someone what they don't want to hear, or b) answer a question without considering the emotional weight (which is usually a much better idea, but is also the road less traveled). Discerning is the rest of the time.
    If I understand correctly what you are trying to say with item b), I considered that, before answering, but felt that the principle was more important than the emotional weight.


    I'm baaack! See my Hot Milk For Breakfast blog under Social Groups for more details

  9. #9
    Addict
    Points: 76,794, Level: 86
    Level completed: 14%, Points required for next Level: 1,556
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    SocialRecommendation First ClassVeteranCreated Album pictures50000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Khorasan
    Posts
    5,111
    Points
    76,794
    Level
    86
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 2
    Given: 0

    Re: Judgementalism

    Quote Originally Posted by ISUCyclones View Post
    It's your son right?
    I don't have any of those "son" thingies. It's a guy in our financial accountability group.


    I'm baaack! See my Hot Milk For Breakfast blog under Social Groups for more details

  10. #10
    All-Star
    Points: 17,268, Level: 40
    Level completed: 3%, Points required for next Level: 782
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteranCreated Album pictures10000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Ames
    Posts
    1,599
    Points
    17,268
    Level
    40
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 0
    Given: 0

    Re: Judgementalism

    I'm not sure where I stand on concubines.



Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
  • TV: Mediacom 22
  • HOOPS: Iowa State vs. Drake
  • December 20, 2014
  • 04:00 PM