Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Speechless
    Points: 479,727, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 52.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    jdoggivjc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Sterling Heights, MI
    Posts
    32,125
    Points
    479,727
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 728
    Given: 484

    When grandma goes to court...

    Just got this in an e-mail and I just had to share it with people

    Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

    In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

    The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

    She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

    The defense attorney nearly died.

    The judge immediately asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

    'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll have you both in contempt of court.'


    Chuck Lidell: I paint my toenails with pink and black polish. Problem is, I get more paint on my toes and on the carpet than on my nails. Any advice?
    Maria Sharapova: Don't you beat up other guys for a living? I don't know how to answer this.



  2. #2
    All-Star
    Points: 15,919, Level: 38
    Level completed: 34%, Points required for next Level: 531
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran10000 Experience Points
    kgreeny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    1,233
    Points
    15,919
    Level
    38
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 2
    Given: 1

    Re: When grandma goes to court...

    Thats nice!!




    "I believe the state color for Alabama should be primer," Larry the Cable Guy.

  3. #3
    Addict
    Points: 177,290, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 1.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    snowcraig2.0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Cedar Rapids, IA
    Posts
    7,381
    Points
    177,290
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 436
    Given: 75

    Re: When grandma goes to court...

    That is funny!



  4. #4
    Hall-Of-Famer
    Points: 65,077, Level: 79
    Level completed: 15%, Points required for next Level: 1,373
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    Cyclonesrule91's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Waukee
    Posts
    4,933
    Points
    65,077
    Level
    79
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 11
    Given: 97

    Re: When grandma goes to court...

    She be a gossiping nosy gramma......



  5. #5
    Pro
    Points: 28,028, Level: 51
    Level completed: 44%, Points required for next Level: 622
    Overall activity: 2.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran25000 Experience Points
    Scott34's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Cedar Rapids
    Posts
    2,316
    Points
    28,028
    Level
    51
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 37
    Given: 26

    Re: When grandma goes to court...

    Talk about your ultimate backfires!



  6. #6
    Hall-Of-Famer
    Points: 39,178, Level: 61
    Level completed: 10%, Points required for next Level: 1,172
    Overall activity: 6.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran25000 Experience Points
    cloneu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Twin Cities
    Posts
    4,171
    Points
    39,178
    Level
    61
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 26
    Given: 22

    Re: When grandma goes to court...

    This would be all the more funny if it was true too. Another version I saw the judge says "I’ll send you both to the electric chair." at the end. I think more lawyers should be told that.


    Step 1: Cut a hole in the box.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
  • TV: FOX
  • Iowa State vs. Baylor
  • September 27, 2014
  • 07:20 PM