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  1. #76
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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by ISUCyclones2015 View Post
    Why not? The internet is the greatest invention of all time. It is the only thing EVER created where you can instantly connect with MILLIONS of people from all walks of life, background, race, and countries in one place. Where are you going to get that type of information from just one person? NO WHERE but the internet.

    In 2014 alone there will be an INCREASE of information of 200 exabytes over 2013. To put that in perspective that is more than all data that there was in 2010 available on the internet. In 2015 estimates are near 500 exabytes. 1 exabyte is over a BILLION gigabytes. It is estimated that the human brain is only roughly 1 terabyte large (1000 gigabytes). The internet just added a terabyte in the ten seconds it took me to write this sentence.

    So if you don't go to the internet for advice, then I feel sorry for you.
    99% of that increased information is just garbage; dumb selfies of drunks in bars shared on facebook and vine and stored seventeen different times on 5 different servers. Don't mistake volume of data with value of data.



  2. #77
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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Go get professional help to honestly try to work it out - if it does not work out, get the best damn lawyer money can buy.



  3. #78
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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rabbuk View Post
    Rub your nuts on all her belongings on the way out.
    Or just say the word and I'm sure there are plenty on here that will rub their nuts on her belongings for you!

    But seriously wish you the best of luck in whatever road you choose in this crucial life changing decision.



  4. #79
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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    This thread is depressing. It sounds like people who are stuck in a bad marriage only have 3 choices.

    1. Stay in a terrible marriage for the sake of the kids and make the whole family miserable.

    2. Get a divorce, miss half your kids' lives, and lose your *** on lawyer fees.

    3. Rub your balls on her **** and then choose either option 1 or 2.

    Yikes.



  5. #80
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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by azepp View Post
    This thread is depressing. It sounds like people who are stuck in a bad marriage only have 3 choices.

    1. Stay in a terrible marriage for the sake of the kids and make the whole family miserable.

    2. Get a divorce, miss half your kids' lives, and lose your *** on lawyer fees.

    3. Rub your balls on her **** and then choose either option 1 or 2.

    Yikes.
    4. Stay in marriage... work like heck to make it work. Work more to make it work. Continue to work hard to make it work. Sacrifice. Stop fighting in front of the kids. Make kids happier.



  6. #81
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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by northernclone View Post
    4. Stay in marriage... work like heck to make it work. Work more to make it work. Continue to work hard to make it work. Sacrifice. Stop fighting in front of the kids. Make kids happier.
    Been reading this thread...obviously a lot of variables involved...but I'd think to why you originally got married. It's easy to forget that when "life" keeps happening (jobs, stress, etc), but a therapist may be able to re-center that with you guys. Now, if the foundation of the marriage wasn't strong (met and moved quickly to marriage) it could be more difficult. People do change both for better and worse, too.



  7. #82
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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by northernclone View Post
    4. Stay in marriage... work like heck to make it work. Work more to make it work. Continue to work hard to make it work. Sacrifice. Stop fighting in front of the kids. Make kids happier.
    5. Stay unhappy. Quit fighting and live in cold comfort instead. Work hard, really hard, at just keeping the peace, hoping that one day that jetliner makes direct impact on the family homestead while you are at work.



  8. #83
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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    I don't even know what to say for advice other than I wish you and your family the best no matter what happens. Divorces can't be easy on anyone.


    @RandomGeoFacts

  9. #84
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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    My folks got divorced when I was 14. My brother and I were relieved. They used to keep us up late with fighting.

    The only struggle I had was seeing them with other people. They moved on pretty quickly, & I was like WTF? That's the only advice I could give: try to be sensitive about introducing any new love interests to your children.




  10. #85
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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by CycloneYoda View Post
    Great timing. My divorce was finalized June 2nd. Okay, it was horrible at first. It was a mess. Then something happened. We started communicating like normal people. Amazing how I lost my wife and regained a great friend. Staying together would have destroyed our children, ages 6 and 2. It would have made us bitter. I don't have any regrets at this point. Together we were toxic, apart we are great. A divorcee decree regarding visitation is just a piece of paper for idiots who can't figure it out on their own. No, I don't have a legal 50/50 split, but they stay with me about 50% of the time. We meet places. I eat at the house sometimes, she eats here. My daughters so proud to have two houses. It hit her hard at first, like massive change is known to do. But guess what? If neither parent uses a child as a weapon, the children become accustomed to their new life as well. Once both sides lose the desire to point the finger, it becomes amazing. We took the kids to IC Jazz Fest together. We ate as a family, danced as a family, and were happy. And the only reason we can pull this off is because at the end of the night, we dont have to live together.

    Never stay together in a loveless marriage for the sake of the children. They will learn that bickering, silent hostility, yelling, and sleeping apart is normal. Happiness is what should be normal, not hostility.
    As a child of divorced parents (I was 3 and my brother was 1 when they divorced), it is really important that you do what Yoda is doing. Divorce sucked, but frankly, my brother and I didn't know any better, and but for less than a handful of incidents, my parents always did their best to communicate and be civil with each other. They didn't speak poorly of each other in front of my brother and I ever. And my mom could have said a lot about my father but didn't. That being said, my dad also drove down to pretty much every single school event I ever had, and he lived 2 hours away. You'll have to work harder at being a parent, but it is definitely possible to make it work.

    Finally, if you're miserable and fighting all the time, it's best to make the change. I still remember the fight my parents had before the divorce... I was just a toddler at the time but it's pretty much seared into my memory... I also remember my dad saying goodbye when he moved out and me telling him not to go or he'd break my heart... This isn't light stuff, so as long as you take it seriously, you'll all be good. My wife's parents waited to get a divorce until they had an empty nest, and they can't even be in the same room still 10 years later...


    Last edited by BKLYNCyclone; 07-07-2014 at 09:40 AM.
    "If baseball players speaking in front of Congress can be put on trial for perjury, then why shouldn't the politicians we vote for be held accountable to the same standard during their campaigns?" -Paraphrased from The Newsroom

  11. #86
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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    My ex-wife's parents divorced when she was 25, and her brother was 22. For almost 8 years, count them, 8 freakin' years, we had to endure her mother bad mouthing her ex-husband any chance she could get. She made it a spectacle. He didn't say a word. He remarried and kept his mouth shut. On May 30th, a few days before my divorce was final, i had agreed to give up the kids for the weekend because their grandma was in town. That night after my daughter's dance recital, my ex-wife called and asked we if i wanted the kids due to the fact that her mother was reacting in a toxic manner towards the entire situation. My Dad's wife went so far as to ask if she could see my decree. We are have our hands full keeping the grandparents in line. They are a different breed.



  12. #87
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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by northernclone View Post
    4. Stay in marriage... work like heck to make it work. Work more to make it work. Continue to work hard to make it work. Sacrifice. Stop fighting in front of the kids. Make kids happier.
    This advice is only valid if BOTH parties are trying. Otherwise, at what point do you quit subjugating yourself to the demands of the other party?



  13. #88
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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by ISUCyclones2015 View Post
    I could walk around NYC all day asking people if they are divorced an had received marriage counseling. Which would take an extreme amount of time to get any relevant information.

    OR

    I can go to the internet and get relevant information basically instantly
    Sorry, I'm a little late to the party, but are you seriously suggesting this poor guy use the opinions of a bunch of anonymous people to make one of the biggest decisions in his life rather than asking known, trusted people for the same? You do realize that a majority of the language on this website is varying attempts to get someone else to click a "thumbs up" button, right?

    Surely the OP has friends, family, etc. that know far more about your situation than any of us do. These people would know your wife, know the dynamics, knowing your kids if you have any, etc. They will give you advice geared at your best interests, not getting someone to click the thumbs up sign.



  14. #89
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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Two words: Dirty Sanchez.



  15. #90
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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by snowcraig2.0 View Post
    Two words: Dirty Sanchez.
    This is the kind of thing that salt and pop make you do, isn't it?



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