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  1. #1
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    Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    After years of issues and months of agonizing I think I've reached "that point". I've visited with two attorneys and the only thing left is to just do it. Anybody else out there gone through this recently or pondering the same?


    Remember, you're unique. Just like everyone else.

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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    From the other threads you have mentioned her in (though I don't remember any recently) I would say just do it. Bite the bullet and do it


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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    She is in love with Freddy. Move on.



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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    If she is a giant ***** I would do it.



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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by awd4cy View Post
    If she is a giant ***** I would do it.
    Everyone who meets her for the first time thinks she's great. She's bubbly and energetic and very nice... to everyone else. I get the leftovers, the gossip, the nagging, etc. We've done counseling 9 years ago when we were in crisis and she stopped going because she decided she was out of crisis, and chose not to work on other personal issues that lead us there. She's saying she wants to go to counseling now, but I don't - I'm done. Just curious if others here have gone through it. A bit worried about the "next step".


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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by TXCyclones View Post
    Everyone who meets her for the first time thinks she's great. She's bubbly and energetic and very nice... to everyone else. I get the leftovers, the gossip, the nagging, etc. We've done counseling 9 years ago when we were in crisis and she stopped going because she decided she was out of crisis, and chose not to work on other personal issues that lead us there. She's saying she wants to go to counseling now, but I don't - I'm done. Just curious if others here have gone through it. A bit worried about the "next step".
    Personally, if she wants to go to counseling, I would do it, in part so you don't have "what ifs" to worry about. You could make it clear up front that you are at the point of wanting a divorce, but want to work it out (if you at all do). You've clearly been married a while, so this isn't the kind of thing that just suddenly disappears if you want out, especially if you have kids.

    You obviously are approaching this fairly seriously, and have had enough, but I'd see what counseling does. You have nothing to lose if you go, but possibly a lot to gain. If that doesn't help, you are going to get a divorce, which you wanted anyway.



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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by LindenCy View Post
    Personally, if she wants to go to counseling, I would do it, in part so you don't have "what ifs" to worry about. You could make it clear up front that you are at the point of wanting a divorce, but want to work it out (if you at all do). You've clearly been married a while, so this isn't the kind of thing that just suddenly disappears if you want out, especially if you have kids.

    You obviously are approaching this fairly seriously, and have had enough, but I'd see what counseling does. You have nothing to lose if you go, but possibly a lot to gain. If that doesn't help, you are going to get a divorce, which you wanted anyway.
    I agree with this. I would go to the counseling. Do everything you can to salvage the marriage, so you eliminate all "what ifs". That way, when you've done everything you can to do to save the marriage, you can be confident in whether or not going through with the divorce is the right call.

    Plus, if she is wanting to go to counseling, you can say you did it for her (but not as something to throw back in her face later on.)




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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by TXCyclones View Post
    Everyone who meets her for the first time thinks she's great. She's bubbly and energetic and very nice... to everyone else. I get the leftovers, the gossip, the nagging, etc. We've done counseling 9 years ago when we were in crisis and she stopped going because she decided she was out of crisis, and chose not to work on other personal issues that lead us there. She's saying she wants to go to counseling now, but I don't - I'm done. Just curious if others here have gone through it. A bit worried about the "next step".
    There are some gals like that. Nice to outsiders and tough on their partners. basically her real personna is tough. If she has not changed in that many of years, time to move on. Counseling cannot fix stuff like this very easily.


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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by TXCyclones View Post
    Everyone who meets her for the first time thinks she's great. She's bubbly and energetic and very nice... to everyone else. I get the leftovers, the gossip, the nagging, etc. We've done counseling 9 years ago when we were in crisis and she stopped going because she decided she was out of crisis, and chose not to work on other personal issues that lead us there. She's saying she wants to go to counseling now, but I don't - I'm done. Just curious if others here have gone through it. A bit worried about the "next step".
    Big step on her part, If she wants to go to counseling. Can't hurt.



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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by awd4cy View Post
    If she has giant ***** I would share them with CF.
    Fixed it for you.

    I'm expecting this to be a depressing thread



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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    My advice - don't go to the ******* internet for advice.



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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by CYphyllis View Post
    My advice - don't go to the ******* internet for advice.
    Why not? The internet is the greatest invention of all time. It is the only thing EVER created where you can instantly connect with MILLIONS of people from all walks of life, background, race, and countries in one place. Where are you going to get that type of information from just one person? NO WHERE but the internet.

    In 2014 alone there will be an INCREASE of information of 200 exabytes over 2013. To put that in perspective that is more than all data that there was in 2010 available on the internet. In 2015 estimates are near 500 exabytes. 1 exabyte is over a BILLION gigabytes. It is estimated that the human brain is only roughly 1 terabyte large (1000 gigabytes). The internet just added a terabyte in the ten seconds it took me to write this sentence.

    So if you don't go to the internet for advice, then I feel sorry for you.


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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by ISUCyclones2015 View Post
    Why not? The internet is the greatest invention of all time. It is the only thing EVER created where you can instantly connect with MILLIONS of people from all walks of life, background, race, and countries in one place. Where are you going to get that type of information from just one person? NO WHERE but the internet.

    In 2014 alone there will be an INCREASE of information of 200 exabytes over 2013. To put that in perspective that is more than all data that there was in 2010 available on the internet. In 2015 estimates are near 500 exabytes. 1 exabyte is over a BILLION gigabytes. It is estimated that the human brain is only roughly 1 terabyte large (1000 gigabytes). The internet just added a terabyte in the ten seconds it took me to write this sentence.

    So if you don't go to the internet for advice, then I feel sorry for you.
    Do you understand the difference between good information and the **** you get from the internet? If you don't, then I feel sorry for you.



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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by CYphyllis View Post
    Do you understand the difference between good information and the **** you get from the internet? If you don't, then I feel sorry for you.
    Factor in the anonymity involved, too, where we can just provide anything and pretend it's advice.

    To pile on, volume of information doesn't equate to quality. I feel sorry for people that can't figure that out.


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    Re: Any Recently Divorced CF'ers?

    Quote Originally Posted by CYphyllis View Post
    Do you understand the difference between good information and the **** you get from the internet? If you don't, then I feel sorry for you.
    Quote Originally Posted by CycloneErik View Post
    Factor in the anonymity involved, too, where we can just provide anything and pretend it's advice.

    To pile on, volume of information doesn't equate to quality. I feel sorry for people that can't figure that out.
    Then why the hell are you on the internet then? Why even bother? You always have to sort through good and bad information no matter where you get it from.


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