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    Find your "Iowa Barbie" at your nearby toy store (Pics now included)

    Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for Iowa:



    1.

    'West Des MoinesBarbie'

    This princess Barbie is sold only in West Glen at Jordan Creek .. She comes with

    anassortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog

    named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and

    face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.



    2. ' Ankeny Barbie ' (recently moved from east side)

    The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Still goes back to

    the east side for doctor appointments, shopping, bakery, dairy queen, weddings, and funerals Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.



    3.

    ' FairgroundsBarbie'

    This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9 mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark

    and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about. Fairgrounds Barbie comes with the Barbie East-side dream-shack that has an extra large front yard for Clive Barbie to park her Hummer on for $20 per day each August.


    4. ' Urbandale Barbie'

    This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Alsoavailable for this set are Shallow Closeted Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.



    5.

    'Knoxville Barbie'

    This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and Tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.




    6.

    ' Kellogg Barbie'

    This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out ofRavenna Barbie's

    house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top - also included is her Wal-Mart employee smock. Also available with a mobile home.



    7.

    'ISU ProfessorBarbie'

    This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call

    her Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Sherman Hill Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free. This is Zipp's favorite, he loves hairy pits


    8.

    'Waterloo Barbie'

    She is just looking for all three of her baby daddies. Set comes with baby Nieshia and baby Twanna. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass to get to Aldi's. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.


    9.

    'Boone Barbie'

    ....need we say more? Pabst Blue Ribbon sold separately.



    Last edited by guitarchitect7; 12-19-2007 at 02:44 PM.
    "You must try to generate happiness within yourself. If you aren't happy in one place, chances are you won't be happy anyplace." -- Ernie Banks



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    Re: Find your "Iowa Barbie" at your nerby toy store

    I've seen this before only it wasn't Des Moines-related...


    Chuck Lidell: I paint my toenails with pink and black polish. Problem is, I get more paint on my toes and on the carpet than on my nails. Any advice?
    Maria Sharapova: Don't you beat up other guys for a living? I don't know how to answer this.



  3. #3
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    Re: Find your "Iowa Barbie" at your nerby toy store

    East siders moving to Ankeny? I have not seen that yet....


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    Re: Find your "Iowa Barbie" at your nerby toy store

    Quote Originally Posted by brianhos View Post
    East siders moving to Ankeny? I have not seen that yet....
    Look closer....they're sneaky



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    Re: Find your "Iowa Barbie" at your nerby toy store(Pics now inlcuded)

    This is old and is out of date. Urbandale is no longer yuppie - it's total WT.


    While on live TV, Ford used a vulgar term to describe a private part of the female anatomy, adding that he was “happily married” and “got more than enough to eat at home.”

  6. #6
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    Re: Find your "Iowa Barbie" at your nerby toy store(Pics now inlcuded)

    Quote Originally Posted by guitarchitect7 View Post

    'Boone Barbie'

    ....need we say more? Pabst Blue Ribbon sold separately.
    Um really? That doesn't describe Boone at all...



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    Re: Find your "Iowa Barbie" at your nerby toy store(Pics now inlcuded)

    Ohh western urbandale is pretty yuppie, go across the interstate, it is pretty kush out there.


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    Re: Find your "Iowa Barbie" at your nerby toy store(Pics now inlcuded)

    Quote Originally Posted by brianhos View Post
    Ohh western urbandale is pretty yuppie, go across the interstate, it is pretty kush out there.
    True, but I don't consider that Urbandale.
    Have you seen the HS lately? Talk about run down...


    While on live TV, Ford used a vulgar term to describe a private part of the female anatomy, adding that he was “happily married” and “got more than enough to eat at home.”

  9. #9
    Lost in Eastern Iowa
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    Re: Find your "Iowa Barbie" at your nerby toy store(Pics now inlcuded)

    I'm still not seeing the pictures either...



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    Re: Find your "Iowa Barbie" at your nerby toy store(Pics now inlcuded)

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Architect View Post
    This is old and is out of date. Urbandale is no longer yuppie - it's total WT.
    Polk County Urbandale true or Dallas County Urbandale false?



  11. #11
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    Re: Find your "Iowa Barbie" at your nerby toy store(Pics now inlcuded)

    Quote Originally Posted by 4429 mcc View Post
    Polk County Urbandale true or Dallas County Urbandale false?
    Polk County Urbandalte = WT
    Dallas County Urbandale = comparable to Country Club area in WDM.


    While on live TV, Ford used a vulgar term to describe a private part of the female anatomy, adding that he was “happily married” and “got more than enough to eat at home.”

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    Re: Find your "Iowa Barbie" at your nerby toy store(Pics now inlcuded)

    Quote Originally Posted by rworkman83 View Post
    Um really? That doesn't describe Boone at all...
    They cannot afford pabst in boone, I think it is just the white can that says beer.


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    Re: Find your "Iowa Barbie" at your nerby toy store

    Quote Originally Posted by brianhos View Post
    East siders moving to Ankeny? I have not seen that yet....
    When did you move there?



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    Re: Find your "Iowa Barbie" at your nerby toy store(Pics now inlcuded)

    anybody got links to the pics since they no longer work. being from good ol knoxville, i really wanted to see my barbie


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    Re: Find your "Iowa Barbie" at your nerby toy store(Pics now inlcuded)

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlybirds View Post
    anybody got links to the pics since they no longer work. being from good ol knoxville, i really wanted to see my barbie
    I think I saw her picking up food stamps!



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