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    Friday QOTW! 7/26 - Best one liner/short joke?

    Hey everyone, this is my Friday Question of the Week.

    What is your best one liner/short joke?


    My teams: (as of 6/15/14)
    Cleveland Browns: 4-12 - .250
    Cleveland Indians: 34-35 - .493
    Cleveland Cavs: 33-49 - .402
    Iowa State Cyclones (FB): 3-9 - .250
    Iowa State Cyclones (BB): 28-8 - .778



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    Re: Friday QOTW! 7/26 - Best one liner/short joke?

    I was asked in an interview: "Tell me your best joke."

    I panicked and said:

    "What's blue and smells like red paint?"

    ...

    "I don't know... what?"

    ...

    "Blue paint!"

    Landed me the job.


    My teams: (as of 6/15/14)
    Cleveland Browns: 4-12 - .250
    Cleveland Indians: 34-35 - .493
    Cleveland Cavs: 33-49 - .402
    Iowa State Cyclones (FB): 3-9 - .250
    Iowa State Cyclones (BB): 28-8 - .778



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    Re: Friday QOTW! 7/26 - Best one liner/short joke?

    What kind of bee makes milk?



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    Re: Friday QOTW! 7/26 - Best one liner/short joke?

    At kickball last night, this girl on the other team trapped the ball between her legs, so I said "You might say she snatched it". It sounded funny at the time I guess.



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    Re: Friday QOTW! 7/26 - Best one liner/short joke?

    Why do hamburgers fly south for the winter?


    So they don't freeze their buns.

    What is the hardest part about eating a vegetable?

    The wheelchair



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    Re: Friday QOTW! 7/26 - Best one liner/short joke?

    What goes "Clip-clop, clip-clop, bang! Clip-clop, clip-clop, bang!"?

    An Amish drive by shooting.



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    Re: Friday QOTW! 7/26 - Best one liner/short joke?

    What's the difference between jam and jelly?



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    Re: Friday QOTW! 7/26 - Best one liner/short joke?

    A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch. The bartender asks, "What's up with the steering wheel?" The pirate replies, "YAR! It's drivin' me nuts!"


    TRUE AND VALIANT

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    Re: Friday QOTW! 7/26 - Best one liner/short joke?

    I was so poor growing up if I wasn't a boy, I'd have had nothing to play with.

    RIP Rodney



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    Re: Friday QOTW! 7/26 - Best one liner/short joke?

    Let my Fred's Posse Ride: Georges, Naz, Hogue, Bryce, Nader, Monte, Matt, and McKay.

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    Re: Friday QOTW! 7/26 - Best one liner/short joke?

    My best jokes are hawk jokes.

    What do a hawkeye fan and a Cyclone fan have in common? Neither one went to Iowa.



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    Re: Friday QOTW! 7/26 - Best one liner/short joke?

    A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Say, grasshopper, do you know we've got a drink named after you?"

    "You've got a drink named Steve!?"



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    Re: Friday QOTW! 7/26 - Best one liner/short joke?

    Some of these are not very funny.



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    Re: Friday QOTW! 7/26 - Best one liner/short joke?

    Quote Originally Posted by colbycheese View Post
    My best jokes are hawk jokes.

    What do a hawkeye fan and a Cyclone fan have in common? Neither one went to Iowa.
    Not a one liner, but adjusted for this situation:

    A Cyclone fan, a Cornhusker fan, and a Hawkeye fan are all in Saudi Arabia sharing a smuggled bottle of Templeton Rye, when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death!



    However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh, a lover of American corn on the cob, decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.



    As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.

"

    The Cornhusker was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done, the Cornhusker had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

    

The Hawkeye was next up. After watching the Cornhusker in horror, he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the Hawkeye was soon led away whimpering loudly.



    The Cyclone was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your men's basketball coach is one of the dreamiest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"



    "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," the Cyclone replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."



    "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheikh asked.



    The Cyclone smiled and said, "Tie the Hawkeye to my back."



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    Re: Friday QOTW! 7/26 - Best one liner/short joke?

    A baby seal walks into a club.



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