Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money? - Page 3

View Poll Results: Joint money or separate money?

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  • Joint Money

    144 79.12%
  • Separate money

    38 20.88%
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  1. #31
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    We have a shared account. I wouldn't do it any other way. We have spending/personal money built into our budget, so neither of us cares what the other buys in that category as long as we don't go over.

    She came into the relationship with about $35k in student/car loans, while I had nothing, so that was a little tough to swallow at first. But, we're married, her money/debt is mine and vice versa. I've been a big Dave Ramsey fan for a while and got her into that, so talking about budgeting has really helped our spending habits.



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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Quote Originally Posted by Al_4_State View Post
    My wife and I have a joint account that a percentage of each of our paychecks go into. This is used for entertainment or household items. The majority of m paycheck stays in my account. We split bills. Se pays all utilities and I pay the mortgage and insurance. Each is responsible for their personal bills, such as car or student loans.

    i think it actually reduces disagreements about spending because if she wants to buy a car that I think is a waste of money, she can. Vice versa, I don't hear any ******** when I bring home a few $10 6 packs.

    Ill admit there's some selfishness in it too. I make about $15k more per year than she does, and I don't always approve of her spending habits. Not because they're out of control, but because I am very cheap. By each keeping a separate account, I think we avoid a lot of financial controversy, which is statistically shown to be the biggest cause of divorce.
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  3. #33
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Joint account. Anything over $50 bucks is discussed. Worked well for us for 8 years. I guess I'm lucky in that we both have similar financial goals, don't have expensive tastes or hobbies, and have similar incomes.

    To me, I don't see why you would need separate accounts. Just do some basic accounting and have monthly financial goals that you stick too. It's easier than ever now with electronic banking and free personal finance software like mint. It practically takes care of itself.

    It does seem somewhat troublesome to me if there is a feeling that one person in a marriage needs an allowance, or if there are hard feelings because there is a large disparity in income. In particular it seems like a problem to me if there is a feeling that "I get to spend more because I make more". Effort and worth in a partnership can't be solely measured monetarily. But I guess in the end every couple is different, and everyone makes it work in different ways.



  4. #34
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    I used to have a guy that worked for me whose wife was a stay at home mom early in their marriage because they had 4 or 5 kids. Later, once the kids were all in school, she decided that she wanted to sell real estate. He confided in me how much it frustrated him that his income was "OUR" money that paid all of the family's bills and her income when she sold a house was "HER" money. He was on board with being the breadwinner when she was the stay at home mom but felt pretty frustrated when she became selfish about the income from her job only being her shopping/splurge/fun money. They are no longer married.

    I also used to work with a woman that made really good money who had a deadbeat husband that only hobby farmed. Basically the sames situation as above but her income paid the family bills, bought her husband's farm equipment and his income from hobby farming went towards his new snowmobiles and toys. I know this because she used to openly complain about being taken for granted by her husband to her co-workers. They are still together, but I am surprised.

    Bottom line, even if there is disparity in earning between couples they need to respect one another and have mutual goals and not take their spouse for granted.



  5. #35
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    I grew up in a family with separate accounts. Dad was a farmer though so it made keeping track of farm expenses easier.

    been married for 9 yrs in August and have had joint since day one. It works because my wife and I are both so tight we squeak when we walk ( not like that sicko's). I think the fact that we both have similar spending habits makes it easy. We live comfortably so no major fights about money


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  6. #36
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Not married, but separate seems weird to me. Like having a roommate that you bang.



  7. #37
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rabbuk View Post
    Not married, but separate seems weird to me. Like having a roommate that you bang.
    Not that there's anything wrong with that. I agree separate checking account when you're married is a strange concept to me, like saying "I want to be with you for the rest of my life...but don't touch my money."



  8. #38
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Quote Originally Posted by 3TrueFans View Post
    Not that there's anything wrong with that. I agree separate checking account when you're married is a strange concept to me, like saying "I want to be with you for the rest of my life...but don't touch my money."
    Right. "We'll share life together, but not the cash."


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  9. #39
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Separate. The initial reason was I didn't want to keep track of her automatic withdraws that fluctuate (monthly credit card payment) in conjunction with the lump sums going in and out of my account (I don't get a weekly paycheck-farming and commissions).

    Everybody's different, but I really like having separate accounts, it means I only have to worry about my spending/bills/income/etc and she can worry about hers. No arguments over money.

    Neither of us have car loans or student loans and I pay the mortgage, utilities, and insurance. She pays half the property taxes and buys the groceries. Once the kid arrives, I'm guessing she will buy diapers, baby food, etc. She's saving a lot of her income for retirement and our next house (her company has a discounted stock purchase plan).



  10. #40
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    If you have separate accounts, how do you track something you are saving for, like a house or car? Just curious. It seems like more work that way, and I like to keep it simple!


    We technically had separate up until last summer just because it was a pain to get our out-of-state separate accounts moved around. But money is one thing we've never really argued about - he always paid the groceries/going out, and I paid the rent and bills. I definitely prefer joint though, I track everything on mint.com so I like being able to "see" all of it to know where we are spending money every month and how our savings is doing. He doesn't question it if I go out shopping, and I don't question it when he buys new computer parts, though we'll usually run it by the other first in a "hey I'm going to the mall/ordering this part" kind of way. Big stuff we'll talk about first. I could see that if one partner has spending problems, that you would want to limit their access to the money, but that's more of a trust issue, imo.


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  11. #41
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    The people that have separate accounts because they act like it is their own money that way and they won't have money arguments realize it is all actually shared money because you are married right? Might as well put it in a single account. I don't understand the mind game you are playing with yourself by keeping it separate. Makes things way, WAY harder. Seems silly.



  12. #42
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Joint. If I couldn't trust him with money, wouldn't trust him with more important things, like the kids, and wouldn't have married him to start with.



  13. #43
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    I guess the other thing I'd be leery about separate because your wife's money problems ultimately are also your money problems. So potentially she/he could **** over your financial situation if they can't control their money habits. I guess this could be mitigated by being able to see their account.



  14. #44
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rabbuk View Post
    I guess the other thing I'd be leery about separate because your wife's money problems ultimately are also your money problems. So potentially she/he could **** over your financial situation if they can't control their money habits. I guess this could be mitigated by being able to see their account.

    I agree. It's burying your head in the sand. If one of you has a spending problem and you think that just be keeping your money separate, that will solve the problem, no. Unless you are limiting the money going into that account and monitoring it, it's just ignoring it. But just saying we have separate accounts and split the money - you're not solving the issue and more importantly, you aren't working together toward your goals.


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  15. #45
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Both works best for us. We have a joint for all the money minus $75 each pay period that goes into our personal accounts to spend on whatever we want.



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