View Poll Results: Joint money or separate money?

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  • Joint Money

    144 79.12%
  • Separate money

    38 20.88%
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  1. #151
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    The more I think about it, maybe this joint thing might be for the wife and I. She works part time to spend more time with the boys. So, she makes so little, that I'd be paying for everything, plus probably have to give her some sort of 'allowance' for other expenses...might get some a little more often if I started with holding her allowance...




  2. #152
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Quote Originally Posted by 3TrueFans View Post
    In her defense th​at was an ugly necklace.

    Hey, way to call my kids ugly....jackarse.



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  3. #153
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Quote Originally Posted by 00clone View Post
    Hey, way to call my kids ugly....jackarse.



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    Lol, I actually typed that and submitted it before I read the kid part but I was like well, now I'm committed let's just go with it.



  4. #154
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    [QUOTE=cowgirl836;3526162]no, because we have the mentality of "our" money, which I guess is the hardest part to wrap my brain around with some of these posts - the idea of "yours" and "my" money. If my husband spends $500 on computer stuff, I don't think of that as well "he earned that money, he can spend it on whatever". It's our money, whether or not he had it in a separate account, so it does concern me as well. As long as we are meeting our goals for savings/bills/whatever, then the occasional "fun" purchase is fine, and we've never had an issue nagging each other over something the other bought. We usually decide how much is ok to spend on a gift (but we're not big gift-givers anyway) and then get the other something they wouldn't normally buy for themselves. Whose theoretical money it is has never crossed my mind. We're both fanatical savers though, so if we each had $500 leftover at the end of the month after bills/savings were taken care of, we would never be like "ok, time to buy something fun", we'd probably dump most of it into savings to reach our goal (which is currently a house), faster. When we're older, I could see spending more of that "leftover" money on fun stuff though.

    The more I read, the more it sounds like there is a fundamental difference in philosophy between the joint and separate account users. It makes sense then why it's hard to see the other "side" - if you just think about money and your marriage in completely different ways. But like many have said, if it works for you, great, that's the most important thing![/QUOTE]


    Well said, good luck with your goal of buying a house..



  5. #155
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Quote Originally Posted by MeanDean View Post
    It would be very interesting to know what percentage of divorces had combined everything and what percent had some degree of separate finances.
    It wouldn't matter, because you will never convince me that having a joint account will cause a divorce. If a couple wants to have separate accounts to have a sense of financial freedom, or reduce a little bickering, fine. But if financial matters are causing strife to the point of divorce, there are much deeper rooted issues that separate accounts will not address. That's why I have a bit of a problem with the idea of separate accounts being able to "fix" a marriage. I'm not saying separate accounts can't work, but in some cases I could see couples trying it thinking it will "fix" their problems, when in actuality there are much deeper rooted issues that aren't addressed and will still lead to problems down the road.



  6. #156
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Quote Originally Posted by MeanDean View Post
    Read the entire thread - including the poop throwing. Seems to me if you're financially struggling when you hook up the combined method seems to be more common. If you're both already somewhat established financially and can jointly find a way to cover your expenses, then the separate seems more common because the "extra" that each earns/has is to the discretion of the earner.
    In my marriage, what we do with the extra is a joint decision. Generally speaking, we both mention purchases to each other, and definitely discuss purchases over maybe $200. We've never said no to each other, but we do discuss priorities.



  7. #157
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Quote Originally Posted by NorthCyd View Post
    It wouldn't matter, because you will never convince me that having a joint account will cause a divorce. If a couple wants to have separate accounts to have a sense of financial freedom, or reduce a little bickering, fine. But if financial matters are causing strife to the point of divorce, there are much deeper rooted issues that separate accounts will not address. That's why I have a bit of a problem with the idea of separate accounts being able to "fix" a marriage. I'm not saying separate accounts can't work, but in some cases I could see couples trying it thinking it will "fix" their problems, when in actuality there are much deeper rooted issues that aren't addressed and will still lead to problems down the road.
    Here is a link older study on the impact of how often people argue about money and how the risk of divorce is impacted.

    Though if you argue about money more than once a week , like you say there are other problems under the surface

    I think if you choose to do separate accounts, that is something you agree to early on, once you are in a joint situation for several years , pretty hard to migrate over to the alternative to save a marriage, because you would still end up fighting for who pays what. So agree separate accounts cannot fix a marriage anymore than they can make it less loving.

    Money Fights Predict Divorce Rates - NYTimes.com



  8. #158
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    I don't like the idea of separate accounts. ESPECIALLY if it's to prevent arguments. I'm as passive-aggressive as they come, but that's really avoiding the issue.



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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    I checked/voted "Separate" because we both kept our own original separate account, but then when we got together we created a "Together" account for household purchases, so it's not like it's ALL separate.

    Those people are just weird and they will get divorced.



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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    After reading this whole thread I've had to ask myself, "How have we stayed married for 18 years with separate accounts? Especially since I kept my maiden name!" I'll start downloading the divorce papers tonight (on the computer I bought from my 'own' account) and starting filling them out because, clearly, we're not making it to 19.

    Oh wait. Maybe I'll just take a time-out from CF because it's starting to resemble the local wacko church way too much - - everyone seems to know how the rest of the world should live.


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  11. #161
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Quote Originally Posted by bugs4cy View Post
    After reading this whole thread I've had to ask myself, "How have we stayed married for 18 years with separate accounts? Especially since I kept my maiden name!" I'll start downloading the divorce papers tonight (on the computer I bought from my 'own' account) and starting filling them out because, clearly, we're not making it to 19.

    Oh wait. Maybe I'll just take a time-out from CF because it's starting to resemble the local wacko church way too much - - everyone seems to know how the rest of the world should live.
    I wish they had a "LOVE" button I could click instead of just the "LIKE" button.

    I couldn't agree with you more. The self righteousness of some on here is nauseating.



  12. #162
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Quote Originally Posted by bugs4cy View Post
    After reading this whole thread I've had to ask myself, "How have we stayed married for 18 years with separate accounts? Especially since I kept my maiden name!" I'll start downloading the divorce papers tonight (on the computer I bought from my 'own' account) and starting filling them out because, clearly, we're not making it to 19.

    Oh wait. Maybe I'll just take a time-out from CF because it's starting to resemble the local wacko church way too much - - everyone seems to know how the rest of the world should live.
    Quote Originally Posted by SwirlingFloater View Post
    I wish they had a "LOVE" button I could click instead of just the "LIKE" button.

    I couldn't agree with you more. The self righteousness of some on here is nauseating.

    I would agree with you as long as you agree the self righteousness is on both sides. I've tried to make clear that while I don't understand it at all, if separate is your thing, good on ya'...but also know that others on the combined side haven't been so tolerant. But, there's also been the 'people combine if they're struggling for money' (i.e...only poor people combine money...if you have money, you keep it separate) comments, and the implication that people with combined money must ask for permission for every purchase.



  13. #163
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    I admire the defensiveness of those who don't combine the money. I found that very telling.


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  14. #164
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Quote Originally Posted by CycloneErik View Post
    I admire the defensiveness of those who don't combine the money. I found that very telling.
    Greed is a deadly sin.



  15. #165
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    Re: Married Fanatics: Joint money or separate money?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rabbuk View Post
    Greed is a deadly sin.
    Deadly sins? I'm too lazy for that stuff.



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