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Thread: Funny Stories

  1. #1
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    Funny Stories

    Let's hear them. Your favorite joke, true story, whatever. I want to laugh today, so let's hear them.



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    Re: Funny Stories

    shameless bump,

    here's a good thread for starters.
    If you were to mix one company's name with another company's slogan, what's the best combo you could come up with? : AskReddit

    this one might be my favorite:

    Charmin: Plop, plop; fizz, fizz; oh, what a relief it is



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    Re: Funny Stories

    Three peanuts walk into a bar.....one was a salted.


    ....I will be here all day.


    Twitter.com/brentblum

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    Re: Funny Stories

    When my daughter was just learning to read, she was reading a joke book to me. Knock knock. Who's there. Ach. Ach-who? Geezen de Heat! I said , "What??" "Geezen De Heat!" she repeated. I took a look. It was Gesundheit.


    "Just remember, what you choose to do with each day is very important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it" -ET

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    Re: Funny Stories

    Same daughter -- "Mom, are there any Indians?" Well, Mom goes on a long explanation about American Indians and India Indians, and when she finishes, my daughter says, "NO!! ARE THERE ANY INDIANS??" Answer? Yes.


    "Just remember, what you choose to do with each day is very important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it" -ET

    "I'm trying not to sweat the small stuff in my life, but there is a definite learning curve." -CE

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    Re: Funny Stories

    I like your daughter, oldman. That Geezen de Heat was some pretty solid "sound it out" work!



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    Re: Funny Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    My favorite joke, similar vein: "Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks."

    My two-year-old's favorite joke: Q: "What's a pirate's favorite letter?" A: "Arrgh, it's the sea!"
    and should could probably repeat that joke 15 times in a row and still laugh hysterically every time. I love little kids and their jokes.



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    Re: Funny Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by cowgirl836 View Post
    and should could probably repeat that joke 15 times in a row and still laugh hysterically every time. I love little kids and their jokes.
    She will flat-out interrupt you asking the question so that she can tell the punchline and just lose it laughing. :)


    M 7/09

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    Re: Funny Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by brentblum View Post
    Three peanuts walk into a bar.....one was a salted.


    ....I will be here all day.
    Should we have the instant rimshot link at the ready?

    Welcome to Instant Rimshot



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    Re: Funny Stories

    EVER WONDER ...

    Why the sun lightens our hair,
    but darkens our skin?

    Why women can't put on mascara
    with their mouth closed?

    Why don't you ever see the headline
    'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

    Why is it that doctors call what
    they do 'practice'?

    Why is lemon juice made with
    artificial flavor, and dish washing
    liquid made with real lemons?

    Why is the man who invests all
    your money called a broker?

    Why is the time of day with the
    slowest traffic called rush hour?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored
    cat food?

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

    Why do they sterilize the needle
    for lethal injections?

    You know that indestructible black
    box that is used on airplanes? Why
    don't they make the whole plane out
    of that stuff?!

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

    Why are they called apartments
    when they are all stuck together?

    If con is the opposite of pro, is
    Congress the opposite of progress?

    If flying is so safe, why do they call
    the airport the terminal?


    Quote Originally Posted by cyowan View Post

    Rulzzz 3:16 says I just liked your post!

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    Re: Funny Stories

    To continue: Why do we park on the driveway, but drive on the parkway?



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    Re: Funny Stories

    A three legged dog walks into the bar. He asks, "I'm looking for the fella that shot my pa!"



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    Re: Funny Stories

    My kids love knock knock jokes. So much so that they try to make up their own which make absolutely no sense. They still think they are hilarious though.

    A couple of real jokes that they like are as follows. Apparently cows are hilarious, right cowgirl?

    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Cow
    Cow Who?
    No, cows moooooo!

    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Interrupting Cow
    Interrupting Cow wh...
    MOO!




    (I told them this one. My favorite Halloween joke.)
    Why was 6 afraid of 7?
    Because 7 ate (8) 9!



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    Re: Funny Stories

    hey here's some good news, no emergency surgery for DH!



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    Re: Funny Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by cyhiphopp View Post

    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Interrupting Cow
    Interrupting Cow wh...
    MOO!
    My go-to clean joke along with
    "What do you call a fish with no eye?"
    "Fshhhh"

    and
    How do you make a kleenex dance?
    You put a little booger in it


    Exaggeration is a BILLION times worse than understating.

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