Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 53

Thread: Funny Stories

  1. #1
    Speechless
    Points: 266,497, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 89.0%
    Achievements:
    VeteranSocial50000 Experience PointsOverdrive
    cowgirl836's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    20,571
    Points
    266,497
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 4,126
    Given: 4,215

    Funny Stories

    Let's hear them. Your favorite joke, true story, whatever. I want to laugh today, so let's hear them.


    new signature ideas needed; inquire within

  2. #2
    Speechless
    Points: 266,497, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 89.0%
    Achievements:
    VeteranSocial50000 Experience PointsOverdrive
    cowgirl836's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    20,571
    Points
    266,497
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 4,126
    Given: 4,215

    Re: Funny Stories

    shameless bump,

    here's a good thread for starters.
    If you were to mix one company's name with another company's slogan, what's the best combo you could come up with? : AskReddit

    this one might be my favorite:

    Charmin: Plop, plop; fizz, fizz; oh, what a relief it is


    new signature ideas needed; inquire within

  3. #3
    Brett Blume
    Points: 52,633, Level: 71
    Level completed: 6%, Points required for next Level: 1,417
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran50000 Experience Points
    brentblum's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    1,267
    Points
    52,633
    Level
    71
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 409
    Given: 315

    Re: Funny Stories

    Three peanuts walk into a bar.....one was a salted.


    ....I will be here all day.


    Twitter.com/brentblum

  4. #4
    Addict
    Points: 125,816, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 7.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran50000 Experience Points
    oldman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    5,102
    Points
    125,816
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 499
    Given: 1,407

    Re: Funny Stories

    When my daughter was just learning to read, she was reading a joke book to me. Knock knock. Who's there. Ach. Ach-who? Geezen de Heat! I said , "What??" "Geezen De Heat!" she repeated. I took a look. It was Gesundheit.


    "Just remember, what you choose to do with each day is very important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it" -ET

    "I'm trying not to sweat the small stuff in my life, but there is a definite learning curve." -CE

  5. #5
    Addict
    Points: 125,816, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 7.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran50000 Experience Points
    oldman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    5,102
    Points
    125,816
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 499
    Given: 1,407

    Re: Funny Stories

    Same daughter -- "Mom, are there any Indians?" Well, Mom goes on a long explanation about American Indians and India Indians, and when she finishes, my daughter says, "NO!! ARE THERE ANY INDIANS??" Answer? Yes.


    "Just remember, what you choose to do with each day is very important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it" -ET

    "I'm trying not to sweat the small stuff in my life, but there is a definite learning curve." -CE

  6. #6
    Speechless
    Points: 266,497, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 89.0%
    Achievements:
    VeteranSocial50000 Experience PointsOverdrive
    cowgirl836's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    20,571
    Points
    266,497
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 4,126
    Given: 4,215

    Re: Funny Stories

    I like your daughter, oldman. That Geezen de Heat was some pretty solid "sound it out" work!


    new signature ideas needed; inquire within

  7. #7
    Speechless
    Points: 266,497, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 89.0%
    Achievements:
    VeteranSocial50000 Experience PointsOverdrive
    cowgirl836's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    20,571
    Points
    266,497
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 4,126
    Given: 4,215

    Re: Funny Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    My favorite joke, similar vein: "Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks."

    My two-year-old's favorite joke: Q: "What's a pirate's favorite letter?" A: "Arrgh, it's the sea!"
    and should could probably repeat that joke 15 times in a row and still laugh hysterically every time. I love little kids and their jokes.


    new signature ideas needed; inquire within

  8. #8
    square root(31) = 5.56776436
    Points: 528,388, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 11.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialYour first GroupVeteran50000 Experience PointsRecommendation Second Class
    Angie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    IA
    Posts
    18,812
    Points
    528,388
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 1,539
    Given: 6,550

    Re: Funny Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by cowgirl836 View Post
    and should could probably repeat that joke 15 times in a row and still laugh hysterically every time. I love little kids and their jokes.
    She will flat-out interrupt you asking the question so that she can tell the punchline and just lose it laughing. :)


    M 7/09

    Quote Originally Posted by Firefighter4Cy View Post
    I got 99 problems but angie isn't one.

  9. #9
    Speechless
    Points: 348,464, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 17.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience PointsOverdrive
    cyhiphopp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Johnston
    Posts
    20,348
    Points
    348,464
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 3,693
    Given: 6,998

    Re: Funny Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by brentblum View Post
    Three peanuts walk into a bar.....one was a salted.


    ....I will be here all day.
    Should we have the instant rimshot link at the ready?

    Welcome to Instant Rimshot


    2014-15 Cyclone Fanatic NBA Fantasy Basketball Champion!



  10. #10
    Speechless
    Points: 599,371, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 37.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience PointsOverdrive
    CycloneRulzzz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Nevada, IA
    Posts
    23,813
    Points
    599,371
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 4,354
    Given: 8,444

    Re: Funny Stories

    EVER WONDER ...

    Why the sun lightens our hair,
    but darkens our skin?

    Why women can't put on mascara
    with their mouth closed?

    Why don't you ever see the headline
    'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

    Why is it that doctors call what
    they do 'practice'?

    Why is lemon juice made with
    artificial flavor, and dish washing
    liquid made with real lemons?

    Why is the man who invests all
    your money called a broker?

    Why is the time of day with the
    slowest traffic called rush hour?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored
    cat food?

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

    Why do they sterilize the needle
    for lethal injections?

    You know that indestructible black
    box that is used on airplanes? Why
    don't they make the whole plane out
    of that stuff?!

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

    Why are they called apartments
    when they are all stuck together?

    If con is the opposite of pro, is
    Congress the opposite of progress?

    If flying is so safe, why do they call
    the airport the terminal?


    2014 CF Poster of the Year

    CF SURVIVOR 4 WINNER!


    Quote Originally Posted by cowgirl836 View Post
    A #2 with extra Arby's sauce?

  11. #11
    Starter
    Points: 12,453, Level: 33
    Level completed: 72%, Points required for next Level: 197
    Overall activity: 2.0%
    Achievements:
    1 year registered10000 Experience Points
    ExCyment's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Crescent, IA
    Posts
    631
    Points
    12,453
    Level
    33
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 164
    Given: 44

    Re: Funny Stories

    To continue: Why do we park on the driveway, but drive on the parkway?



  12. #12
    All-Star
    Points: 35,563, Level: 58
    Level completed: 10%, Points required for next Level: 1,087
    Overall activity: 3.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran50000 Experience Points
    TruClone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Eldridge, IA
    Posts
    1,532
    Points
    35,563
    Level
    58
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 138
    Given: 217

    Re: Funny Stories

    A three legged dog walks into the bar. He asks, "I'm looking for the fella that shot my pa!"



  13. #13
    Speechless
    Points: 348,464, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 17.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience PointsOverdrive
    cyhiphopp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Johnston
    Posts
    20,348
    Points
    348,464
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 3,693
    Given: 6,998

    Re: Funny Stories

    My kids love knock knock jokes. So much so that they try to make up their own which make absolutely no sense. They still think they are hilarious though.

    A couple of real jokes that they like are as follows. Apparently cows are hilarious, right cowgirl?

    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Cow
    Cow Who?
    No, cows moooooo!

    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Interrupting Cow
    Interrupting Cow wh...
    MOO!




    (I told them this one. My favorite Halloween joke.)
    Why was 6 afraid of 7?
    Because 7 ate (8) 9!


    2014-15 Cyclone Fanatic NBA Fantasy Basketball Champion!



  14. #14
    Speechless
    Points: 266,497, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 89.0%
    Achievements:
    VeteranSocial50000 Experience PointsOverdrive
    cowgirl836's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    20,571
    Points
    266,497
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 4,126
    Given: 4,215

    Re: Funny Stories

    hey here's some good news, no emergency surgery for DH!


    new signature ideas needed; inquire within

  15. #15
    Addict
    Points: 110,828, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 2.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran50000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    6,693
    Points
    110,828
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 247
    Given: 289

    Re: Funny Stories

    Quote Originally Posted by cyhiphopp View Post

    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Interrupting Cow
    Interrupting Cow wh...
    MOO!
    My go-to clean joke along with
    "What do you call a fish with no eye?"
    "Fshhhh"

    and
    How do you make a kleenex dance?
    You put a little booger in it


    Exaggeration is a BILLION times worse than understating.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
  • TV: Cyclones.TV
  • FOOTBALL: Iowa State vs. UNI
  • September 5, 2015
  • 07:00 PM