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  1. #31
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    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    My dad was Catholic and my mother Lutheran. They have been happily married for 25 years come July. No family members had problems with the "mixed marriage" besides my great grandmother who was a very devout old-school Catholic and a little bit racist. My parents were clear, however, on things relating to religious beliefs, such as what church their children would be baptized in and attend. My brothers and I also attended a Lutheran school through 8th grade.

    IMO, it is an important issue if religion is remotely important to either partner or to their families. A family friend who used to teach Sunday school at my church always told his students that married couples should agree on religion because it may be the only thing that they agree on. I don't think this necessarily means that a married couple should both be Catholic, Lutheran, Methodist, Jehovah's Witness, etc. but it does mean that they should agree on how they will handle their religious beliefs, how the kids will be raised, and even how often they attend church.



  2. #32
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    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by mj4cy View Post
    I did not convert. While I share the same core beliefs as my wife, there are some things that I just cannot accept and it would be a lie to myself and the church if I joined it. I do attend church with her however as we both believe we want our kids to be in a faith community growing up.
    Honest questions: Are these same unacceptable facets of the church not an issue for your wife? If they are an issue for her, what is keeping you from going to another faith community that more closely resembles all of your true beliefs? Why do you have such a desire to keep your children in a faith community where you will eventually have to explain to them what things they are told to accept on faith your family actually believes and which they don't?



  3. #33
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    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by mj4cy View Post
    I did not convert. While I share the same core beliefs as my wife, there are some things that I just cannot accept and it would be a lie to myself and the church if I joined it. I do attend church with her however as we both believe we want our kids to be in a faith community growing up.
    That's kind of what my parents did. My dad did convert from Catholicism to Lutheranism shorty before my oldest brother was confirmed. He still admits that he does not agree with all teaching of the Lutheran church. My parents, do, however, share the same core beliefs and that is ultimately what is important, IMO.



  4. #34
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    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by cowgirl836 View Post
    Same here. We got married just about two years ago - wedding at a Catholic Church but no full mass. I actually really liked the priest and some of the marriage prep. Things like talking about where you'll spend holidays, who will handle finances, how will chores be split, and things like that that as others said, sometimes get lost in the wedding planning. Forcing you to really think about some of those hot spots (he also made us talk about what things annoyed each other about our future spouse and how we could handle that) is something all couples should do - religious or not.
    We had to do both a natural family planning seminar (which was painful for me as a person working in repro) and a weekend retreat which some couples enjoyed but I was just happy to have over with. I know other couples were able to combine that stuff into one seminar so it really varies by the priest.

    edit: I did not convert
    I forgot about the weekend retreat. That was a bit much.



  5. #35
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    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    I'm Lutheran and my wife is Catholic, we took the test and came back being completely compatible. I said I had no plans to convert but our kids will be raised Catholic and they accepted that. We were married in a Catholic church by a priest with no full mass. It was actually a pretty easy process. I've been attending mass with her and our son ever since and still have no plans on converting.



  6. #36
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    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by BuffettClone View Post
    I'm Lutheran and my wife is Catholic, we took the test and came back being completely compatible. I said I had no plans to convert but our kids will be raised Catholic and they accepted that. We were married in a Catholic church by a priest with no full mass. It was actually a pretty easy process. I've been attending mass with her and our son ever since and still have no plans on converting.

    Almost exact same as me except I grew up Methodist. I do play drums once a month or so for a Methodist church in Ankeny which helps take care of the need to worship in more of a style I'm accustomed to.


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  7. #37
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    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by BuffettClone View Post
    I'm Lutheran and my wife is Catholic, we took the test and came back being completely compatible. I said I had no plans to convert but our kids will be raised Catholic and they accepted that. We were married in a Catholic church by a priest with no full mass. It was actually a pretty easy process. I've been attending mass with her and our son ever since and still have no plans on converting.
    I forgot about the test . . .
    What sort of questions can I anticipate?



  8. #38
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    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by CycloneNorth View Post
    If you don't know what religion she is at this point that probably means she is not that into it, so you don't have to worry.
    Watch out if Mormon - she may tithe.


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  9. #39
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    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by BuffettClone View Post
    I'm Lutheran and my wife is Catholic, we took the test and came back being completely compatible. I said I had no plans to convert but our kids will be raised Catholic and they accepted that. We were married in a Catholic church by a priest with no full mass. It was actually a pretty easy process. I've been attending mass with her and our son ever since and still have no plans on converting.
    Is the test multiple choice?



  10. #40
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    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by Wesley View Post
    Watch out if Mormon - she may tithe.
    couldn't resist

    "Hello!" Book of Mormon on Broadway - YouTube


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  11. #41
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    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    I'm Catholic and my wife of 23 years is Lutheran. We got married in a Lutheran church, and raised our kids under the Lutheran doctrine. I've never converted, but Lutherans seem to be receptive to all, which I really like. Maybe it's just my mindset now, but I seem to get more from the Sunday Lutheran service now than I ever did when I was younger and attending Catholic mass.


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  12. #42
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    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by cycopath25 View Post
    I forgot about the test . . .
    What sort of questions can I anticipate?
    Do you believe in divorce?
    What is your stand on birth control?
    Have you been married before?
    Will you be able to take a pilgramage to Rome?
    How many kids do you plan?
    Do you support OCare?





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  13. #43
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    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Have you began stretching? You know us catholics have quite the calisthenics routine.




  14. #44
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    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    I am a non-Catholic married to a Catholic for 14 years now. I have not nor do I plan on converting. Like others have said, there are some things I can't get on board with. We have two kids that are being raised in the Catholic Church. I attend mass with the family. As a non-Catholic, you will find out that you are not able to participate in any of the church activities such as communion or confession. I was not able to take communion on my daughter's first communion with her. I was also not able to participate in her first confession. There are several classes that parents have to attend in order for your children to be able to do these things, be prepared to be an "outcast". I don't let it bother me too much, it just reinforces to me that I don't want to convert.



  15. #45
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    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by DSMCy View Post
    Those of who weren't Catholic, did you convert prior to getting married?

    I'm in the same position as the OP, I'm Lutheran, fiancee is Catholic.
    Raised Methodist here. Didn't convert until five years later after our first child was born.


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