Page 2 of 9 FirstFirst 123456 ... LastLast
Results 16 to 30 of 126
  1. #16
    Addict
    Points: 108,337, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 7.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran50000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    6,503
    Points
    108,337
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 164
    Given: 161

    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by ISUboi12 View Post
    I've been dating a girl for well over a year, I have no idea what she is and vice versa. I know she is a christian of some type. Does someone's religion still play an important role in a relationship? I thought that was long gone.
    It does if they have convictions about their beliefs. Guessing in your situation that you are a year in and haven't talked about it then it is not a huge deal in your relationship.


    Exaggeration is a BILLION times worse than understating.

  2. #17
    Legend
    Points: 208,233, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 57.0%
    Achievements:
    VeteranSocial50000 Experience Points
    cowgirl836's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Madison, WI
    Posts
    12,213
    Points
    208,233
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 1,171
    Given: 1,132

    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by ISUboi12 View Post
    I've been dating a girl for well over a year, I have no idea what she is and vice versa. I know she is a christian of some type. Does someone's religion still play an important role in a relationship? I thought that was long gone.
    it can if it's important to one or both of you............or to one of your families. Things like where you'd get married, whether you'd attend church, baptize your children (if you have them), what religion you would raise your kids - stuff like that.



  3. #18
    Addict
    Points: 67,318, Level: 80
    Level completed: 55%, Points required for next Level: 732
    Overall activity: 14.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran50000 Experience Points
    erikbj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    hiawatha, ia
    Posts
    5,284
    Points
    67,318
    Level
    80
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 209
    Given: 52

    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    My wife is catholic and when we got married the priest didn't make me do 90% of what I was supposed to. Didn't play a major role.....however now we are having our first child and where she is baptisted is more of a discussion.



  4. #19
    Addict
    Points: 108,337, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 7.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran50000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    6,503
    Points
    108,337
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 164
    Given: 161

    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by cycopath25 View Post
    So how do I address the fact that my future spouse wants 4 kids. I want 2 so we are planning on having 3?
    Ha. We had that talk before we were married too and my wife was adamant about having kids in 7 years and she wanted 2. By our 7th year of marriage we had knocked out #3 and now she wants 4.


    Exaggeration is a BILLION times worse than understating.

  5. #20
    Legend
    Points: 210,023, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 28.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    MNCyGuy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Des Moines
    Posts
    10,656
    Points
    210,023
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 451
    Given: 314

    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by ISUboi12 View Post
    I've been dating a girl for well over a year, I have no idea what she is and vice versa. I know she is a christian of some type. Does someone's religion still play an important role in a relationship? I thought that was long gone.
    It's not important...until it is important. For my wife and I, it came up because all the non-Catholics that had married into her family had converted, so she just grew up assuming that's what would happen. I grew up with a mom that taught in a public school, so I never really saw myself sending my kids to a private, religious school, but that was definitely an option on the table in her mind. If neither person is very religious, it's those weird little assumptions like that where religious differences still make themselves known.



  6. #21
    Addict
    Points: 74,286, Level: 84
    Level completed: 67%, Points required for next Level: 564
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    cycopath25's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    (307)
    Posts
    5,113
    Points
    74,286
    Level
    84
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 26
    Given: 2

    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    My fiance isn't a devout catholic so that makes it easier. WHen we were asked if we would do our best to raise the children catholic her response to the priest was "Define try"



  7. #22
    Addict
    Points: 91,415, Level: 94
    Level completed: 9%, Points required for next Level: 1,735
    Overall activity: 10.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran50000 Experience PointsSocial
    CRcyclone6's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Cedar Rapids
    Posts
    5,432
    Points
    91,415
    Level
    94
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 204
    Given: 994

    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    I'm Catholic, married a Methodist in an Episcopal Church. No issues.


    Are you a member?

  8. #23
    Legend
    Points: 208,233, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 57.0%
    Achievements:
    VeteranSocial50000 Experience Points
    cowgirl836's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Madison, WI
    Posts
    12,213
    Points
    208,233
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 1,171
    Given: 1,132

    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by cycopath25 View Post
    Anyone here have that experience? I was raised Luthern, but some of this marriage prep stuff seems odd.

    Same here. We got married just about two years ago - wedding at a Catholic Church but no full mass. I actually really liked the priest and some of the marriage prep. Things like talking about where you'll spend holidays, who will handle finances, how will chores be split, and things like that that as others said, sometimes get lost in the wedding planning. Forcing you to really think about some of those hot spots (he also made us talk about what things annoyed each other about our future spouse and how we could handle that) is something all couples should do - religious or not.
    We had to do both a natural family planning seminar (which was painful for me as a person working in repro) and a weekend retreat which some couples enjoyed but I was just happy to have over with. I know other couples were able to combine that stuff into one seminar so it really varies by the priest.

    edit: I did not convert



  9. #24
    Legend
    Points: 210,023, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 28.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    MNCyGuy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Des Moines
    Posts
    10,656
    Points
    210,023
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 451
    Given: 314

    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by DSMCy View Post
    Those of who weren't Catholic, did you convert prior to getting married?

    I'm in the same position as the OP, I'm Lutheran, fiancee is Catholic.
    I did. My family switched churches a few times when I was a kid (mom was raised Catholic, dad was Lutheran, we were attending Methodist services by the time I graduated HS), so it was kind of all the same to me, but it was a big deal to her family so I did it. And the Waterloo joint parishes that I converted through were great and accommodating to all my skepticism about "Catholic stuff", so it was actually a pretty positive experience. Of course, by the time we were married my sister-in-law had come out as a lesbian, which led to my wife's immediate family basically abandoning the Catholic church, so my original stance of "It's all Christianity, who really gives a ****" becomes more justified as time goes on.



  10. #25
    Legend
    Points: 215,388, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 39.0%
    Achievements:
    50000 Experience PointsOverdriveVeteran
    Rabbuk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    14,228
    Points
    215,388
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 942
    Given: 51

    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    I didn't know this was still an issue. I figure when the time comes I just cave to whatever the ball and chain wants.



  11. #26
    Hall-Of-Famer
    Points: 98,113, Level: 97
    Level completed: 54%, Points required for next Level: 937
    Overall activity: 3.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran50000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    4,804
    Points
    98,113
    Level
    97
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 222
    Given: 17

    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    My parents got married 36 years ago. My dad was Catholic, my mom was Methodist. They went through the courses and at that time, my mom was still not considered Catholic (I think it has changed now though). My mom never felt comfortable with the religion and my dad had been told by a priest at his Catholic high school that he would make a good Methodist, decided to become Lutheran. They waited until they moved out of the area where my grandparents lived so that they wouldn't cause small town rumors. I was actually baptized Catholic, but the rest of my siblings were baptized Lutheran. I like to say that either I am in big trouble because I am a lapsed Catholic or I am in good shape because I was baptized :)

    Each person's individual expirence kind of matters on their own religious beliefs though. I suspect there are non-catholics who end up marrying catholics and don't really care too much about religion, so they'll just go along. Religion mattered to my parents and I think they were lucky in that my Dad didn't have some belief that catholism was the only way to go.

    The big issue I have seen with people my age now is that the people getting married seem to be OK with everything, but the parents aren't. I've seen a few instanes where a couple is getting married in a protestant church and the catholic parents are NOT happy about it.



  12. #27
    Addict
    Points: 74,286, Level: 84
    Level completed: 67%, Points required for next Level: 564
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    cycopath25's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    (307)
    Posts
    5,113
    Points
    74,286
    Level
    84
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 26
    Given: 2

    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    I have no plans on converting



  13. #28
    Legend
    Points: 210,023, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 28.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    MNCyGuy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Des Moines
    Posts
    10,656
    Points
    210,023
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 451
    Given: 314

    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by cycopath25 View Post
    My fiance isn't a devout catholic so that makes it easier. WHen we were asked if we would do our best to raise the children catholic her response to the priest was "Define try"
    I wouldn't sweat any of it then, unless your priest really starts throwing up roadblocks for performing your marriage. None of it is as bad as it sounds at first. In fact, I kind of enjoyed getting a chuckle out of the pre-marriage inventory and meeting with our sponsor couple. Maybe it's kind of lame, but it was cool having a neutral older couple with a good marriage, that wasn't a blood relative, to bounce some things off of. It's one of those things where you get out of it what you put into it though.



  14. #29
    Asst. Regional Manager
    Points: 238,460, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 52.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    mj4cy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Ankeny
    Posts
    17,122
    Points
    238,460
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 696
    Given: 658

    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    I did not convert. While I share the same core beliefs as my wife, there are some things that I just cannot accept and it would be a lie to myself and the church if I joined it. I do attend church with her however as we both believe we want our kids to be in a faith community growing up.


    @RandomGeoFacts

  15. #30
    Legend
    Points: 208,233, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 57.0%
    Achievements:
    VeteranSocial50000 Experience Points
    cowgirl836's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Madison, WI
    Posts
    12,213
    Points
    208,233
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 1,171
    Given: 1,132

    Re: Non-Catholic Marrying Catholic

    Quote Originally Posted by mj4cy View Post
    I did not convert. While I share the same core beliefs as my wife, there are some things that I just cannot accept and it would be a lie to myself and the church if I joined it. I do attend church with her however as we both believe we want our kids to be in a faith community growing up.

    very much the same here. Same core beliefs but some things I can't get on board with.



Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
  • TV: FS1
  • Iowa State @ Oklahoma State
  • October 4, 2014
  • 11:00 AM