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    ISU Daily: College Sports Are Not Helpful

    Maxwell: College sports are not helpful - Iowa State Daily: Opinion

    I don't even know where too begin....

    Because of school pride, many people have developed hatred towards animals that represent rival schools. This is likely a major cause of people everywhere disliking our school mascot, the Cyclone. Most media coverage of cyclones outside of ISU sports is negative (with the notable exception of the classic urban anthem “Cyclone” by artists Baby Bash and T-Pain).
    The rewards for winning in college sports vary, though none of them have actual real-world significance. One common practice is to award winning teams trophies, which are eventually taken into the school and displayed like false idols. A better system is one that encourages equality, such as giving everyone involved participation awards, which would also avoid labeling the losing teams “losers.”



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    Re: ISU Daily: College Sports Are Not Helpful

    Uh.... what?


    ***Official Unofficial Spokesman of Cyclone Fanatic.***

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    Re: ISU Daily: College Sports Are Not Helpful

    That was stupid.



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    Re: ISU Daily: College Sports Are Not Helpful

    I think this was Alexander Maxwell's audition for The Onion. I wouldn't be too upset about it.



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    Re: ISU Daily: College Sports Are Not Helpful

    Reading that first paragraph tells me this is sarcasm and is actually very funny.



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    Re: ISU Daily: College Sports Are Not Helpful

    Do I get a participation trophy for reading the whole article?

    I also like the lone comment

    Grades are not helpful either because if you score well, but someone scores higher than you, you're a loser. More people get Bs than As, what losers!
    But we live in a nation of losers who can't seem to win every gold medal in the Olympics. Sucks to be a losing nation.
    And no one enjoys sports right? College would be way more fun without the marching band and tailgating. Those are not helpful.
    Neither is alcohol. Not helpful. But the fact that the people in a bar fight are both three sheets to the wind has nothing to do with their decision to tussle. I go into bars all the time just looking for Texas fans to pummel.
    Even worse are those actual long horned cattle. Boy oh boy do I get upset at the sight of those things. Hatred of animals right there. My Iowa City friends go cardinal hunting on the weekends too, they just hate anything that might represent ISU athletics.
    Shame on this nation of ours to allow people who work hard be recognized for it. Shame on Dr. Shechtman for winning that Nobel Prize in Chemistry. Think how bad


    Last edited by Farnsworth; 04-25-2013 at 11:30 AM.

  7. #7
    KFitzy87
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    Re: ISU Daily: College Sports Are Not Helpful

    Quote Originally Posted by Rhoadhoused View Post
    Reading that first paragraph tells me this is sarcasm and is actually very funny.
    Yup. Almost certain that's what it is. Wasn't there an article similar to this about the weather earlier in the year?



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    Re: ISU Daily: College Sports Are Not Helpful

    What sort of coverage does he want for cyclones? To cover the positive effects they have on... future landscaping projects?



    "It was like going on vacation to go play Iowa." - Coach Johnny Orr

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    Re: ISU Daily: College Sports Are Not Helpful

    After reading this article, I reminded of this quote by Ron Swanson and, "Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart and who is poor."



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    Re: ISU Daily: College Sports Are Not Helpful

    that has got to be satire


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  11. #11
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    Re: ISU Daily: College Sports Are Not Helpful

    I think this is an attempt at satire based on the last paragraph. Not necessarily good satire, but satire none the less:

    'I did not choose this school because it has a great basketball or football team, yet that appears to be just where it is headed. I do not like knowing my school’s teams are only trying to win, and every time I think about it, I cannot help but feel pity for those who lose to us.'




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    Re: ISU Daily: College Sports Are Not Helpful

    The first two paragraphs screamed sarcasm at you and you still didn't get it.


    It's all snark from here on out

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    Re: ISU Daily: College Sports Are Not Helpful




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    Re: ISU Daily: College Sports Are Not Helpful

    Quote Originally Posted by KFitzy87 View Post
    Yup. Almost certain that's what it is. Wasn't there an article similar to this about the weather earlier in the year?

    yeah they did and some of us pointed it doesn't really work as satire if no one gets it. Kinda like explaining a joke. Just kills the funny.



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    Re: ISU Daily: College Sports Are Not Helpful

    This is why we have . ISU Daily, get with the program!



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