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  1. #1
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    Man from Future Arrested Near Hadron Collider

    A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.

    The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.
    Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.
    Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

    This isn't the first time time-travel has been blamed for mishaps at the LHC. Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so "abhorrent" that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery.

    Professor Brian Cox, a CERN physicist and full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist, was sympathetic to Mr Cole. "Bless him, he sounds harmless enough. At least he didn't mention bloody black holes."
    Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.
    Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future | CNET UK



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    Re: Man from Future Arrested Near Hadron Collider

    meth?



  3. #3
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    Re: Man from Future Arrested Near Hadron Collider

    Jeffrey Goines was questioned and released.


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    Re: Man from Future Arrested Near Hadron Collider




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    Re: Man from Future Arrested Near Hadron Collider

    Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.



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    Re: Man from Future Arrested Near Hadron Collider

    Wait. Kit Kats for everyone? Tell me more.


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    Re: Man from Future Arrested Near Hadron Collider

    Posted on April 1st.



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    Re: Man from Future Arrested Near Hadron Collider

    Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

    He has a Mr. Fusion? Great Scott! Doc Brown, is that you?



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    Re: Man from Future Arrested Near Hadron Collider

    A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.

    The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.
    Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.
    Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

    This isn't the first time time-travel has been blamed for mishaps at the LHC. Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so "abhorrent" that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery.

    Professor Brian Cox, a CERN physicist and full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist, was sympathetic to Mr Cole. "Bless him, he sounds harmless enough. At least he didn't mention bloody black holes."
    Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.
    Sounds like someone has been watching too much Dr. Who.



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    Re: Man from Future Arrested Near Hadron Collider

    hahaha, I for one believe him. It makes perfect sense to me, and I like Kit Kats.


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  12. #12
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    Re: Man from Future Arrested Near Hadron Collider



    While on live TV, Ford used a vulgar term to describe a private part of the female anatomy, adding that he was “happily married” and “got more than enough to eat at home.”

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    Re: Man from Future Arrested Near Hadron Collider

    You keep fighting the good fight. Kit-Kats are an abomination.



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    Re: Man from Future Arrested Near Hadron Collider

    November Fools.


    While on live TV, Ford used a vulgar term to describe a private part of the female anatomy, adding that he was “happily married” and “got more than enough to eat at home.”

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    Re: Man from Future Arrested Near Hadron Collider

    Quote Originally Posted by Bigman38 View Post
    hahaha, I for one believe him. It makes perfect sense to me, and I like Kit Kats.

    I believe him too. Give me a break, give me a break...break me a piece of that Kit Kat Bar!



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