Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 54

Thread: Need Some Help

  1. #1
    Pro
    Points: 31,132, Level: 54
    Level completed: 26%, Points required for next Level: 818
    Overall activity: 5.0%
    Achievements:
    Recommendation Second ClassVeteran25000 Experience PointsSocial
    EYEoftheSTORM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Ames, Iowa
    Posts
    2,462
    Points
    31,132
    Level
    54
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 97
    Given: 9

    Need Some Help

    Hey guys, I am coming to you to ask for some help. I am sure that quite a few of you are married or at least dating, so I sure some of you have been through this before.

    My girlfriend turns 30 next month and it is really bothering her. She is always upset about everything and never wants to talk about it with me. I have tried alot but it never works, and she still stays upset. Its nothing that she is upset with me over just a bunch of things piled on top of being 30 soon.

    Any advice would help (I'm sure some of you guys have experienced this before) as I am about out of ideas and hate how she is always upset...

    Thank you in advance.




    I WAS THERE!!!!!!

  2. #2
    Hall-Of-Famer
    Points: 84,703, Level: 90
    Level completed: 53%, Points required for next Level: 847
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran50000 Experience PointsCreated Album pictures
    azepp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Ankeny
    Posts
    3,964
    Points
    84,703
    Level
    90
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 183
    Given: 128

    Re: Need Some Help

    Quote Originally Posted by EYEoftheSTORM View Post
    Hey guys, I am coming to you to ask for some help. I am sure that quite a few of you are married or at least dating, so I sure some of you have been through this before.

    My girlfriend turns 30 next month and it is really bothering her. She is always upset about everything and never wants to talk about it with me. I have tried alot but it never works, and she still stays upset. Its nothing that she is upset with me over just a bunch of things piled on top of being 30 soon.

    Any advice would help (I'm sure some of you guys have experienced this before) as I am about out of ideas and hate how she is always upset...

    Thank you in advance.
    She's a female and is upset about things - I guarantee she's talking to someone about it... Find out who that person is (hopefully a female friend of hers) and get the scoop.



  3. #3
    Walk On
    Points: 10,270, Level: 30
    Level completed: 54%, Points required for next Level: 280
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    1 year registered10000 Experience Points
    optimuslott's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Ames, IA
    Posts
    152
    Points
    10,270
    Level
    30
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 0
    Given: 0

    Re: Need Some Help

    Hey dude,
    I, myself, am 30 and married. My wife also turns 30 this year. I also have a PhD in Psychology which is never a good thing when it comes to marriage! Anyhoo, take what I say with a huge grain of salt as I am a researcher and not a counselor.

    Cumulative stress is a killer. It drains the body of resources and can dramatically impair your partner's mood, ability to process information, reaction time, sleep, and even immune functioning. If she is not wanting to talk to you, then definitely don't force her as this will add pressure or stress onto an already stressful time.

    So...what can you do. Flat out tell her I'm here if you want to talk. Do "the little things" that show her you care and age doesn't matter. Hell...tell her she is as awesome as Iowa State! That one always works for me :) Anyhoo, patience is your friend right now. Guys, like you and me, want to fix things and women (well who the heck knows). Anyhoo, be patient, acknowledge to her that you know something is up and you will be there when she is ready. To affirm the unconditional love component is always the best option!



  4. #4
    Rookie
    Points: 10,087, Level: 30
    Level completed: 23%, Points required for next Level: 463
    Overall activity: 1.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran10000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    379
    Points
    10,087
    Level
    30
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 15
    Given: 35

    Re: Need Some Help

    Propose, that will do the trick.



  5. #5
    Pro
    Points: 101,531, Level: 99
    Level completed: 25%, Points required for next Level: 1,519
    Overall activity: 10.0%
    Achievements:
    50000 Experience PointsVeteran

    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    3,178
    Points
    101,531
    Level
    99
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 84
    Given: 24

    Re: Need Some Help

    Quote Originally Posted by EYEoftheSTORM View Post
    She is always upset about everything

    Nobody has the right to always be upset about everything. That is the definition of selfish. She has a problem and you can't fix it.

    Pay at the counter on your way out.



  6. #6
    Legend
    Points: 303,239, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 74.0%
    Achievements:
    50000 Experience PointsVeteranOverdrive
    00clone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Iowa City area
    Posts
    10,032
    Points
    303,239
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 2,255
    Given: 560

    Re: Need Some Help

    I don't know if this'll help, but generally, when I'm upset, I'm cheered up by most fried or grilled meat products. Maybe that's not her style.

    My wife tended to clam up when she was upset and it drove me nuts. I finally got thru to her when I said that I was driving myself nuts trying to figure out what was bothering her. Most of the time it was something else, she'd stew over it for a few days, then finally tell me what it was. Meanwhile, I could tell she was upset, and would rack my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong. I think when she realized that I cared enough to make myself miserable over her unhappiness, she knew I cared. Typical woman, they get happy realizing we're miserable.

    I would recommend trying to get at the heart of what's up with 30. Is it just the age thing? You mentioned girlfriend...my wife was stressing about not being married, having kids, etc. by a certain age in her mind's plan, so that's a possibility too. Either way, what about age 30 bugs her? Depending on what it is, the answer might be that the best thing you can do is shut up, or it might be that the two of you have some talking to do.



  7. #7
    Speechless
    Points: 732,927, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 99.0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteranCreated Album pictures50000 Experience PointsOverdrive
    Cyclonepride's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    A pineapple under the sea
    Posts
    48,585
    Points
    732,927
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 1,865
    Given: 881

    Re: Need Some Help

    Just be as supportive of her as you can, and let her know that you are always available to listen.

    My wife was stressed out with all we had to do when we got married, as we had to sell her townhome, move her down to my house, then get that house ready to sell, buy another house and then move there. It was a lot to handle all at once. I just repeatedly shifted the focus from EVERYTHING we had to do to the NEXT thing we had to do. When you look at all of your problems or tasks at once, they can seem insurmountable, so I tried to keep her (and our) focus on the next little step to the top of the mountain. It seemed to work pretty good.



  8. #8
    Pro
    Points: 103,944, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 8.0%
    Achievements:
    50000 Experience PointsVeteran

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    3,233
    Points
    103,944
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 360
    Given: 0

    Re: Need Some Help

    Toss some uppers mixed with prescription meds into her cereal every morning.



  9. #9
    Pro
    Points: 31,132, Level: 54
    Level completed: 26%, Points required for next Level: 818
    Overall activity: 5.0%
    Achievements:
    Recommendation Second ClassVeteran25000 Experience PointsSocial
    EYEoftheSTORM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Ames, Iowa
    Posts
    2,462
    Points
    31,132
    Level
    54
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 97
    Given: 9

    Re: Need Some Help

    Thank you for all the advice. It bothers me and I just dont know what to do here.




    I WAS THERE!!!!!!

  10. #10
    All-Star
    Points: 25,359, Level: 48
    Level completed: 81%, Points required for next Level: 191
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran25000 Experience Points

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    1,279
    Points
    25,359
    Level
    48
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 21
    Given: 54

    Re: Need Some Help

    My advice - find a new girlfriend. Preferably one that doesn't stress over superficial ****.



  11. #11
    Pro
    Points: 31,132, Level: 54
    Level completed: 26%, Points required for next Level: 818
    Overall activity: 5.0%
    Achievements:
    Recommendation Second ClassVeteran25000 Experience PointsSocial
    EYEoftheSTORM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Ames, Iowa
    Posts
    2,462
    Points
    31,132
    Level
    54
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 97
    Given: 9

    Re: Need Some Help

    Quote Originally Posted by GoCubsGo View Post
    My advice - find a new girlfriend. Preferably one that doesn't stress over superficial ****.
    Ha, Ill need some luck with that one.




    I WAS THERE!!!!!!

  12. #12
    Addict
    Points: 174,460, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    GeronimusClone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Des Moines, IA
    Posts
    8,249
    Points
    174,460
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 1
    Given: 0

    Re: Need Some Help

    In other news:
    Water is wet
    Sky is blue

    Suggest a three-way. That may snap her out of it.


    Last edited by GeronimusClone; 09-29-2011 at 02:47 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by MNCyGuy View Post
    The only answer to "who/what is GeronimusClone?" is in fact "GeronimousClone". You're like The Todd on Scrubs.
    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    This is why you're my favorite

    Quote Originally Posted by MoreCowbell View Post
    GC, he's obviously all man. And I don't think Ellen would go *****, even for GC...

  13. #13
    Addict
    Points: 120,258, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    jsmith86's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Tulsa
    Posts
    6,193
    Points
    120,258
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 0
    Given: 0

    Re: Need Some Help

    Step 1: Cut a hole in a box.


    ____________________________________

    You can't die. That would upset the equilibrium in the Cave.
    Warning: Posts contain 98% post-sarcastic content.
    Hoiball

  14. #14
    All-Star
    Points: 33,842, Level: 56
    Level completed: 66%, Points required for next Level: 408
    Overall activity: 5.0%
    Achievements:
    Veteran50000 Experience Points
    TruClone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Eldridge, IA
    Posts
    1,475
    Points
    33,842
    Level
    56
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 120
    Given: 174

    Re: Need Some Help

    Quote Originally Posted by optimuslott View Post
    Hey dude,
    I, myself, am 30 and married. My wife also turns 30 this year. I also have a PhD in Psychology which is never a good thing when it comes to marriage! Anyhoo, take what I say with a huge grain of salt as I am a researcher and not a counselor.

    Cumulative stress is a killer. It drains the body of resources and can dramatically impair your partner's mood, ability to process information, reaction time, sleep, and even immune functioning. If she is not wanting to talk to you, then definitely don't force her as this will add pressure or stress onto an already stressful time.

    So...what can you do. Flat out tell her I'm here if you want to talk. Do "the little things" that show her you care and age doesn't matter. Hell...tell her she is as awesome as Iowa State! That one always works for me :) Anyhoo, patience is your friend right now. Guys, like you and me, want to fix things and women (well who the heck knows). Anyhoo, be patient, acknowledge to her that you know something is up and you will be there when she is ready. To affirm the unconditional love component is always the best option!
    I think you need to seek professional help for the use of the term "anyhoo" three times in your post!



  15. #15
    Addict
    Points: 174,460, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    SocialVeteran50000 Experience Points
    GeronimusClone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Des Moines, IA
    Posts
    8,249
    Points
    174,460
    Level
    100
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 1
    Given: 0

    Re: Need Some Help

    Quote Originally Posted by TruClone View Post
    I think you need to seek professional help for the use of the term "anyhoo" three times in your post!
    Using that word three times makes me think the referral to "wife" might be a loose interpretation.


    Quote Originally Posted by MNCyGuy View Post
    The only answer to "who/what is GeronimusClone?" is in fact "GeronimousClone". You're like The Todd on Scrubs.
    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    This is why you're my favorite

    Quote Originally Posted by MoreCowbell View Post
    GC, he's obviously all man. And I don't think Ellen would go *****, even for GC...

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
  • TV: Fox Sports Net
  • BASKETBALL: Iowa State vs. Alabama
  • November 24, 2014
  • 08:30 PM