The Night Before Kickoff
A friend of mine received this on Friday, but I just got it this morning. Sorry if it's already been posted.
Twas the night before kickoff, for Chiz and his guys
as the Cyclones got ready for the hated Hawkeyes.
The teams both were prepping for the others’ attack,
and Ames was infested with polyester in black.
The Cyclones were nestled all snug in their beds,
trying to get the last two weeks out of their heads.
Everyone knew the Hawkeyes could be beat,
‘Cuz they were too busy bitchin’ ‘bout ninety bucks a seat.
Then game day arrived, and the place came to life,
Is that a sheep with that Hawk fan, or could that be his wife?
The tailgate began with the beer and the food,
And the lots around Jack Trice had a festive mood.
Then out of the large smoking helmet they came,
Their game plan is different but many faces the same.
The Cyclones were jumping and shouting and stuff,
And Chizik yelled out, "Men, it’s time to get tough!":
"Now Meyer! Now Tuba!
Now, Bowen and Bass!
On, Dedrick ! On, Jesse!
Rashawn, Kick their *****!
Today is the day,
That we start to play ball!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!"
The players came out, the small and the large,
And the Hawkeye receiving corps hollered out, "Charge!"
As the ball went in play, the Hawks got it first,
Albert Young made us nervous with a 20 yard burst.
But out of nowhere came Jon Banks, as he well-timed a snap,
Knocking the wind out of Jakey, after shooting a gap.
The Hawkeyes would punt, and The Clones fielded cleanly,
Then the offense came out, and Meyer looked around meanly.
"This my job, it has been since ‘04,
The Quarterback controversy will be no more.
I’m throwing to Blythe, and to Sumrall and Ben,
I’m going to throw it again and again! "
And Bret did, and he handed at times to J.J.,
Who ran through the Hawk defense the whole stinkin’ day!
Meanwhile the defense was tough and was strong,
and the Hawk offense struggled the whole afternoon long!
The score at the half was 17-zip,
And Hawk fans were sorry they had made the trip.
It got worse for the bumblebee crowd in the third,
One by one they would exit, while flipping the bird.
24-nothing, then 27 and 30,
The Cyclones’ uniforms barely got dirty.
The switch has gone off, the team finally gelled,
And the Hawkeyes were just a bad team, boy, they smelled.
So as all of the fans filed out of Jack Trice,
The Cyclones were feeling so great and so nice.
When one mulleted Hawk yelled, "Was your Superbowl fun?"
We said "Darn right it was Sparky, ‘cuz the best team won".