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  1. #1
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    Cy to take position at Stanford

    REPORT: Cy to take Stanford Mascot Job

    After a whirlwind search by the Stanford Sthletic department, it is being reported by sources today that Cy, the current mascot of Iowa State University will be accepting the newly vacated position at Stanford University. Sources are citing an overall committment to the mascot program at Stanford, as well as a frayed relationship with Iowa State athletics director Jamie Pollard that has lingered ever since the mascot budget did not see increases after several high-profile internet competition victories, as reasons for the move. Sources say that Cy has been looking for new opportunities for some time now, and Athletics Director Bob Bowlsby's promise of a new state of the art mascot training facility was reportedly a large factor in Cy's decision to leave Ames, where he has served as mascot for several decades.

    The position was vacated following a recent drunken incident involving the most recent Tree mascot, Charlie Sheen, and a number of Tijuana prostitutes, after which the Stanford Tree was terminated from his position. The Tree has reportedly recently entered an inpatient treatment program for his numerous addictions.



  2. #2
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    Re: Cy to take position at Stanford

    To Cardinal Nation, you Cardinal!

    Cy better watch himself - Dollar Bob will soon be looking for the mascot that will take his program to the 'next level'.......given all of his investment in the mascot training facility......



  3. #3
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    Re: Cy to take position at Stanford

    Well that is just freaking great. Next you are probably going to tell me that the losers at Iowa and Nebraska are going to steal the nickname Farmaggedon for their fake football rivalry and that Minnesota is going to dump TCF and start calling their stadium "Jack Trice Stadium" because they like the story.

    Screw you Stanford.

    Screw you Nebraska and Iowa.

    Screw you Minnesota.



  4. #4
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    Re: Cy to take position at Stanford

    Is this an April Fools thread?



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    Re: Cy to take position at Stanford

    Quote Originally Posted by gocubs2118 View Post
    Is this an April Fools thread?
    Sadly it isn't.



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    Re: Cy to take position at Stanford

    If I were a Stanford student or alumni I would demand a new mascot. That tree has got to be the lamest thing in college sports.



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    Re: Cy to take position at Stanford

    In other news, the Nebraska mascot has resigned his position in order to serve as spokesman for a well known condom company.





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    Re: Cy to take position at Stanford

    Quote Originally Posted by cyclonestate View Post
    In other news, the Nebraska mascot has resigned his position in order to serve as spokesman for a well known condom company.


    That is interesting. I heard a report from the Omaha World Herald that Tom Osborne gave him the boot for his participation in gay porn flicks. I guess Lil Red used to hang out with a few of the guys on the wrestling team over there.



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