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    Hawkeye Legal Defenses

    I know the crimes are alleged, and there is that thing called innocent until proven guilty, but I started brainstorming some potential defenses if I were them.

    1. "I heard coach say, 'Today at practice, let's take the DB hard downfield and make a good hard cut. Someone's bound to bite on a good fake, and you will get credit for a good play. Watch out for pranks from the seniors, too, they are a bunch of cards. If we practice hard, we can steal some games we are underdogs in. Lots of other teams don't practice as hard as us. We've got the "right stuff" to win.' I wasn't really paying attention, and heard, 'Take someone's credit cards. Steal lots of stuff.' I just do what I'm told."

    2. As a receiver, I use prodigious amounts of Stick-Um on my hands...I must have still had some on my hand that the credit card stuck to.

    Feel free to add your own...maybe we can get a "Top Ten" style thread to help out our Hawk brethren. (All in good fun, of course.)


    Forever trying to find a cure for the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

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    Re: Hawkeye Legal Defenses

    This crime is the IC police department's "Super Bowl."


    “Science investigates; religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge, which is power; religion gives man wisdom, which is control. Science deals mainly with facts; religion deals mainly with values. The two are not rivals. They are complementary.”

    Martin Luther King Jr.

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    Re: Hawkeye Legal Defenses

    They wanted me to go to rehab, but I said no, no, no.



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    Re: Hawkeye Legal Defenses

    Quote Originally Posted by tube1 View Post
    They wanted me to go to rehab, but I said no, no, no.
    If I ever meet the person that wrote/sings that song, I'm going to punch them in the trachea. It's crappy, and gets stuck in my head too easily.


    "Seven minutes to glory."

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    Re: Hawkeye Legal Defenses

    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclone62 View Post
    If I ever meet the person that wrote/sings that song, I'm going to punch them in the trachea. It's crappy, and gets stuck in my head too easily.
    Big girls don't cry.


    “Science investigates; religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge, which is power; religion gives man wisdom, which is control. Science deals mainly with facts; religion deals mainly with values. The two are not rivals. They are complementary.”

    Martin Luther King Jr.

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    Re: Hawkeye Legal Defenses

    What was Mayor Barry's (Washington D.C.) best excuse?

    "B**** set me up!!!"


    Chuck Lidell: I paint my toenails with pink and black polish. Problem is, I get more paint on my toes and on the carpet than on my nails. Any advice?
    Maria Sharapova: Don't you beat up other guys for a living? I don't know how to answer this.



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    Re: Hawkeye Legal Defenses

    Quote Originally Posted by Cyclone62 View Post
    If I ever meet the person that wrote/sings that song, I'm going to punch them in the trachea. It's crappy, and gets stuck in my head too easily.
    I that that Amy Winehouse song? I just heard it for the first time this morning, and I have to say, that is the most SuckTastic thing I have heard since Brittney Spears stopped lip syncing.


    They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin 1775

  8. #8
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    Re: Hawkeye Legal Defenses

    Quote Originally Posted by brianhos View Post
    I that that Amy Winehouse song? I just heard it for the first time this morning, and I have to say, that is the most SuckTastic thing I have heard since Brittney Spears stopped lip syncing.
    Anybody seen "Chocolate Rain" on YouTube?? Talk about SuckTastic.


    Forever trying to find a cure for the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

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    Re: Hawkeye Legal Defenses

    The officials went after the wrong person and made the wrong call.



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    Re: Hawkeye Legal Defenses

    They never make that call, and besides, Florida players have done worse.



    Yeah well, ya know, that's just, like uh, your opinion, man.

  11. #11
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    Re: Hawkeye Legal Defenses

    If these two players are cleared, it is because of how much better they are then the prosecuting team. If these players are convicted, it is because they didn't defend up to expectations and definitely not because the prosecutors had a better case or were the better team.

    That's what you call justice Zipperhead drunk Zable style.



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