Friday OT #2 - P and SCs

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Angie, May 30, 2014.

  1. Angie

    Angie square root(31) = 5.56776436

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    I was just reading an article about a husband with an online porn addiction, and how the wife put blockers on all of their WiFi and everything because she and their therapist saw it as cheating.

    Do you find porn to be cheating? What about strip clubs? What if they're in moderation vs. excessiveness? What IS excessive?
     
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  2. Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    [​IMG]
     
  3. bos

    bos Legend

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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    How can watching porn be cheating?

    If Im getting sex by watching porn, then I am a super hero by watching Avengers.
     
  4. mj4cy

    mj4cy Asst. Regional Manager

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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    I think you may have intimacy issues or you just may be bored with your sex life if you only care to watch porn....but I don't see that as cheating. Cheating to me involves emotions/feelings. All humans get aroused by things....but how far you'll let the arousal go probably depends on the type of relationship you have.
     
  5. Angie

    Angie square root(31) = 5.56776436

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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    Yeah, I don't really get it, either - the wife said that he was thinking of other women while he was... enjoying himself? I don't know, it just baffled me that she'd play babysitter to a grown-*** man by putting a blocker on the internet. If I were the husband, I'd be irate.
     
  6. abe2010

    abe2010 Well-Known Member

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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    what did your hubby do now?
     
  7. CapnCy

    CapnCy Well-Known Member

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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    I think the question is more "what is cheating?" Flame away, but this movie is actually pretty good and talks about this in a variety of ways (emotional cheating vs physical). http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0160916/

    It's kinda of like the debate when someone says "I'm not sexually active" and they've done EVERYTHING but had a certain part go inside a certain other part, if you know what I mean.
     
  8. Mr Janny

    Mr Janny Welcome to the Office of Secret Intelligence
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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    and a zombie by watching the Walking Dead

    Then again, if you watch something like American Idol or the Voice, it does make you a *****.
     
  9. coolerifyoudid

    coolerifyoudid Well-Known Member

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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    Guessing the view count on a thread with this headline hits 1 million before noon
     
  10. oskyclone

    oskyclone Member

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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    If porn is cheating then people must view it a lot differently than I do. Porn is more informational than cheating,its just a way to keep up with the times and maybe learn so.ething new. As for strip clubs, every once in a while would be okay but only in large group and you don't be that old creeper perving on every chick on stage. I would rather have a hooker than a stripper because at least you get something out of it. I think strip clubs are a waste of money but they can be fun and as long as the wife is on the same page and it is still fun hen it is okay. When it is no longer fun or the wife no longer likes it then it is excessive.
     
  11. Angie

    Angie square root(31) = 5.56776436

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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    LOL - definitely not me. I honestly can't imagine really caring about porn or strip clubs, as long as there's no happy ending at the club.
     
  12. bos

    bos Legend

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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    If the sig other is participating in web cam sexual encounters with someone then I would say yes.

    That whole scenario above seems like they need more marriage therapy and maybe he needs sex addiction counseling. It sounds like he is substituting porn for intimacy with her. Its not cheating.
     
  13. Angie

    Angie square root(31) = 5.56776436

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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    And it sounds to me like she's also got a mix of control issues. It sounds like a really, really bad combination.
     
  14. RubyClone

    RubyClone Active Member

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    #14 RubyClone, May 30, 2014
    Last edited: May 30, 2014
    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    Uhhhh.... :wideeyed:

    [​IMG]
     
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  15. ArgentCy

    ArgentCy Active Member

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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    I think that her therapist is terrible and just milking as much money as they can from her. I think they both probably have issues but it almost certainly isn't going to end well.
     
  16. Angie

    Angie square root(31) = 5.56776436

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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    Honestly, the way that scenario should have gone, IMO, is like this:

    - Husband sees qualified therapist separately, and couple goes. They talk out the actual issues.
    - Wife makes it clear what her limits are, and expectations.
    - If those aren't met, a trial separation (in this case, it sounds like he was avoiding the family to watch porn) followed by divorce, if necessary.

    You treat your spouse like an adult, and you make your own adult limits known. You definitely don't babysit someone - and what therapist thinks that's healthy??
     
  17. ISUKing

    ISUKing Member

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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    Female strip clubs = ok. Male strip clubs = cheating. Not a double standard, just watch some shows / movies / youtube / whatever, male strip clubs seem to go way over the top.

    Not saying that doesn't happen at female, but I would not be comfortable with my wife going to a male club.

    and porn.......porn is good
     
  18. Mr Janny

    Mr Janny Welcome to the Office of Secret Intelligence
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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    Nope, not me. Angie and I are in a good place with this. I promise to confine it to the garage. She promises to keep the fridge fully stocked with crudite platters and not question how I'm using them. Everybody wins.
     
  19. CapnCy

    CapnCy Well-Known Member

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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    In response to the first part of what you shared, really ANYTHING could be "cheating" or a barrier to intimacy. If the same dude was always at sporting events, on CF, watching sports in a separate room and the core was THAT was his source of enjoyment and he neglected his wife, then that could be the core issue (intimacy, not sports). Like any type of addiction or barrier, sometimes removing it as an option is one way...i.e. if someone struggles with alcohol, hanging out at a bar is not probably the best place to be and having alcohol in the home is asking for something to happen.

    There certainly is a value judgement on porn/strip clubs as well. Some argue 'it's the woman's body' but would probably not say that if their daughter was making that choice (i.e it's ok for MY pleasure, but I won't worry about the person who may have been abused or has no direction).
     
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  20. mctallerton

    mctallerton Well-Known Member

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    Re: Friday OT #2 - Porn and Strip Clubs

    This thread is disappoint
     

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